Understanding
by JessieWills
Summary: This is the sequel to "Undercover". After being kidnapped and tortured, Kate is trying to recover from what happened to her but she isn't doing alone anymore, instead she has Rick to help her. But how far can the next step go when she's still recovering?
1. Chapter 1

**This is the sequel to my story "Undercover" which will focus on Kate's recovery after her kidnapping in which we will find out what happened and will focus less on the cop side of it and more on the Castle/Beckett side of things, which is always good. Anyway I hope you enjoy as much as you enjoyed the last one and new readers welcome, I hope you enjoy because I'm really not sure about this chapter and have been re-writing it over and over again all day. **

Staring at herself in the mirror, she watched the tears stream down her cheeks as her fingers reached up and touched her hair, taking in the extremely short clumps compared to the longer ones. Her face was red from crying and her body was bruised and injured, her underwear not hiding any of it as she stared at every burn and cut that covered her torso and legs. The worst being on her shoulder. Turning so her back was facing the mirror, she looked around and led her fingers to the violent cuts into her skin. Castle. His name had been marked into her and it was going to scar, she was going to be marked as Castle's property forever. Yes, she'd admitted that she loved him but she was ready to be called Castle's property. No. She wasn't ready to ever be someone's property, Richard Castle's or not. Hearing a small knock at her bedroom door, she looked around and grabbed the blanket off the bed, throwing it around herself quickly as she walked towards the door, opening it slowly to see Rick standing there staring at her, a small smile covering his face.

"Everything okay?" he asked simply, causing her to nod and smile weakly at him. "Kate, you don't have to hide anything from me, you know that right?" he declared causing her to nod once again. How was she supposed to admit to the man who she guessed was her boyfriend that she thought she was ugly? That she didn't want him to even look at her. Richard Castle could have anyone and for some reason he'd chosen her. Chosen ugly Katherine Beckett. Shutting the door quickly before saying anything, she turned away and felt the tears get worse as she dropped the blanket and walked back to the mirror. She'd never been the most confident in women when it came to her appearance but was any woman? But now she was staring at herself and seeing nothing but ugly and disgusting. She was going to be scarred forever, her long brown hair was now going to have to be cut once again back to less than shoulder length and the mark on her shoulder wasn't pleasant. Rick wouldn't want her forever now, she was lucky that he'd stayed this long her brain kept telling her, he would find some attractive woman and disappear off into the sunset with her, leaving her forever. Letting out a scream, she grabbed the nearest object to her and flung it at the mirror, watching it smash into pieces of the floor. The sound of it smashing causing Rick to run into the room and stare at her in shock before walking over and pulling her into his arms. They'd left the hospital only an hour ago, arriving back at hers ten minutes earlier and he'd left her alone because she'd wanted to change. She'd seemed fine at the hospital, well as fine as anyone could seem after everything that had happened to her. Her kidnap, her torture, her rape. She hadn't told anyone anything in detail but after examinations from doctors and a rape kit, it was clear that whatever had happened wouldn't go away for a while, even though the man responsible was behind bars and would never get the chance to get to her. Now, he was seeing another woman completely. Someone broken and hurt and it hurt him to see her like this. She was normally so strong, she capable to deal with anything but now she was lost and hurt, clearly shown by the smashed mirror at their feet. Looking down, he noticed her bleeding feet causing him to lift her into his arms, carrying her out of the room quickly. "I need to bandage your feet Kate" he whispered as he placed her on the sofa.

"Can I have your shirt please?" she asked simply causing him to nod and undress himself, watching her quickly cover herself in his shirt as he walked towards the kitchen in search of her first aid kit. Finding it, he walked over and knelt in front of the sofa she lay across in tears, his fingers running over to her feet with the tissue, washing away the blood that was starting to stain her skin. Watching every mood he made, she bit her lip to stop herself from moaning from the pain. She was fed up of being weak, of being in pain. She'd watched her father break down at the realisation of what had happened to his little girl and had listened to him rant about her job was going to get her killed and for the first time in her career, she'd listened to him, starting to agree with every word.

"Why did you smash the mirror Kate?" he asked as he finished bandaging her foot and climbed onto the sofa and watched her curl herself into a ball practically on the sofa next to him. "Kate?" he asked again, the worry inside him not getting any better as he stared at her, almost not recognizing the woman in front of him. "I can't help if you don't tell me" he added, trying to get her to open up which he knew was going to be hard. It had been hard to get her to open up about anything and now with what had happened, he could see her barriers firmly building up once again. Locking everyone out once again like she'd done before.

"Because you're going to leave me" she mumbled as he stared at her in complete shock.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, I am honestly shocked at the response this story has already. I'm really glad you've all enjoyed the first chapter and I hope I have continued to done justice in this chapter which I once again am not too confident in but my brain is against me again! **

Pulling her onto his lap, he sighed as he held her close to him for a moment, the chill of her tears on his bare chest freezing him for a moment as she sat there on his lap, her hands wrapped around him in desperation to keep him from leaving her.

"Kate, I'm not going to leave you, why would you think that?" he mumbled onto her head before pressing a kiss against her hair causing her to sob even more. "I love you Kate, you know that" he whispered as she sat there. "Now what's got all these silly ideas into your head?" he asked causing her to look up at him.

"Your Richard Castle, you murder mystery novelist, who's rich and smart and gorgeous and who am I, I'm no one, I'm Kate Beckett who's mum was murdered, who's dad was an alcoholic, who's a disgusting ugly no one" she sobbed causing him to hold her tight. "People like you don't choose people like me Rick, you go with rich gorgeous blondes, you don't go for disgusting cops like me" she sobbed before climbing off his lap and walking towards her bedroom door, whimpering every time she took a step because of the injuries to her feet. Getting of the sofa, he sighed as he walked towards her and slowly lifted her into his arms, hearing her sob once more as she moved against him, her head resting against his chest. "It just doesn't work Rick" she mumbled as he carried her into the bedroom and rested her on the bed.

"It does work Kate" he whispered as he slipped a stray piece of hair back behind her ear. "It works because I love you and the last time I checked you love me" he declared causing her to nod slowly. "And you're not disgusting or ugly, you are the most beautiful and amazing woman I know Kate" he announced causing her to stare at him. "Anyway I don't want any gorgeous blondes, I've had those already and that didn't work out, I want the beautiful brunette who is lying in front of me blind to how truly stunning she is and who I am going to tell everyday how beautiful she is and how much I love her" he declared causing more tears to trickle down her cheeks as she sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to cry. "Kate I know what that man did to you was worse than I could have ever imagined but we're going to get you through this, together".

"Promise?" she asked causing him to nod. "I love you Rick" she whispered as he nodded once more and smiled.

"I love you too Kate" he whispered as she moved away slowly and sighed. "Anything I can do" he asked causing her to nod. "What is it?".

"Could you call Lanie for me please and ask her to come over?" she whispered causing him to nod. "And then could you go out while she's here".

"Of course, if that's what you want" he declared causing her to nod slowly before he pressed a kiss against her forehead and climbed off the bed. "You really are perfect Kate" he mumbled as she shut her eyes. He thought she was beautiful and stunning and he loved her so why didn't she believe him? Why was all she saw when she looked at him was a lie?

XOXOXOX

"You've got him really worried" Lanie announced as she entered Kate's bedroom to see Kate lying on the bed dressed in Rick's shirt still crying. "Hey what's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't feel like enough for Rick anymore, I don't feel like I can do anything right" she sobbed causing Lanie to walk over and hug her. "I'm scared Lanie, I'm scared he's going to leave me when he finds someone else".

"Kate that man has only had eyes for you for the past three years, do you honestly think because of this he's going to change his mind?" Lanie asked causing Kate to sigh. "Kate that man is big style head over heels in love with you and I'm not joking when I say he would live on the streets if it meant you stayed with him" Lanie added causing Kate to stare at the broken mirror. "Now why did you call me over?" she asked.

"I was wondering if you'd cut my hair for me, I can't do it myself and I don't want anyone to see me like this right now and you're the only person I know who could do a decent job" Kate whispered causing Lanie to nod as Kate's fingers ran up to her hair once more, a small sigh escaping from her lips. "I hate having short hair".

"You had short hair before" Lanie announced causing Kate to nod.

"I had short hair before because I didn't want to come across as overly feminine at work, it's a man world there Lanie and I didn't want to have my sex being a weakness" Kate sighed. "And then Rick turned up and I wanted to be attractive and feminine so I grew it and now what am I going to look like?" she whispered causing Lanie to sigh as she found a pair of scissors in Kate's draw.

"You're going to look like the gorgeous Kate Beckett that we all know you are, anyway when you had short hair Rick was still attracted to you wasn't he?" Lanie announced. "Kate, Rick doesn't care how short or long your hair is, he loves you for you" Lanie whispered as she slowly sat behind Kate and sighed. "That'll never change".

"I know, but he's a celebrity Lanie, he doesn't want to be seen with someone like me" Kate whispered as she tried to stop herself from crying. .Feeling Lanie cut into her hair, she bit her lip and stared at the smashed mirror, remembering what she'd said earlier, remembering how she'd felt earlier when he'd found her with her feet bleeding. "I just don't think I'm enough for him and it'll kill me if the only reason he's staying is because he feels sorry for me".

"Now you're talking complete rubbish woman" Lanie announced as she continued to cut her friends hair, knowing how much Kate's confidence had been crushed in the last couple of days. "Kate that man ruined the lives of so many people, don't let him do the same to you and Rick" she whispered into Kate's ear. "Because Richard Castle is the best thing that's ever happened to you".

"I know" Kate mumbled. "That's why I'm scared of losing him" she announced as Lanie sighed and continued to straighten Kate's destroyed hair. Sighing, she put the scissors down and smiled.

"I'm done" Lanie whispered causing Kate to turn and look at her. "You still look amazing woman" Lanie declared as she turned once more and stared at herself once again in the mirror, her hand reaching up to touch her hair, a small tear creeping down her cheek.

**I know Kate probably wouldn't react that badly to her hair being cut but I wanted it to sort of represent her confidence being broken. Reviews are loved! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again, thank you so much for your reviews, I am so shocked at the response this story has got already and I love hearing what you think. Also I did tell myself I wasn't going to write another chapter until tomorrow but I get bored very easily so I hope you continue to enjoy and review so I have something to do during my very boring life!**

Entering her apartment, he smiled as he saw her lying on the sofa, her arm curled around a cushion, the television showing the rest of the film she'd been watching, Lanie sat on the other sofa staring at the screen in confusion, clearly indicating she wasn't the one to choose the film he had now realised was foreign.

"Hi" he whispered causing Lanie to turn around and smile at him. "When did she fall asleep?" he asked causing Lanie to sigh as she climbed off the sofa and walked towards him, the smile remaining on her face.

"About half an hour ago, she was shattered so I don't think she'll wake up for a while" Lanie announced. "God I feel like I'm talking about a child, she'd kill me if she heard me talk about her like that" Lanie mumbled as she continued to look at her friend from the kitchen before looking at her watch and groaning. "I've got to go, I promised Esposito I'd meet him for dinner and I'm already late" she mumbled before hugging Rick, shocking him slightly at the thought of the woman's arms around him.

"What was that for?" he asked as she smiled at him, grabbing her bag quickly and chucking it over her shoulder.

"Look after her Castle, she needs you right now more than ever" she declared before walking out of the apartment, leaving them finally alone. Creeping towards the sofa Lanie had now left free, he smiled as he noticed her hair cut, the shortness of her hair a shock but also reminding him of the Kate Beckett he had first met three years ago. The Kate Beckett he had teased from the moment he had laid eyes on in the bar when she'd come to question him. Sitting himself on the sofa, he smiled as she began to shake in her sleep, her breathing becoming more desperate and fast, this grabbing his attention causing him to walk over to the sofa and kneel, shaking her gently as he grabbed her hand, and knowing she'd probably need it when she woke up.

"Kate, wake up" he declared as he shook her gently causing her to sit up panting, sweat rolling down her face as she tried to catch her breath. "Kate, it's okay it was just a nightmare" he whispered causing her to look at him, a tear rolling down her cheek leading him to sit himself on the sofa beside her, his arms wrapping around her as her head rested against him, her tears getting worse. "Want to talk about it?" he asked causing her to shake her head. "It might help" he whispered.

"His face, I can't get his face out of my head" she mumbled, her hands clinging onto his shirt. "His eyes, there always staring at me when I shut mine, they just won't disappear" she sobbed as he wrapped his arms around her to stop her falling from his grasp. "His hands are always touching me and I can hear what he said, I can hear everything he said to me Rick, why won't he go away?" she half sobbed half screamed as the grip on his shirt got tighter.

"It's okay" he mumbled onto her head. "It was just a dream Kate, he's gone and he won't ever come back to hurt you, you made sure of that" he declared causing her to sob even more.

"That just makes it worse Rick because I know he's gone, I know he's gone and he'll never get out but all I can think about is what he did to me, I'm not like this Rick, things don't get to me like this" she announced through the tears. "I don't cry like this Rick, I don't lose control" she mumbled.

"Kate, there's always a line which when crossed takes us out of our comfort zone, right now you're out of yours and you just have to find your way back" he mumbled as she sat there in silence, her tears drenching his shirt. "We'll find your way back together" he declared as she stared at him. "Lanie did a good job on your hair" he whispered, desperately trying to make her think of something else. "She's gone for dinner with Esposito tonight".

"I know" she mumbled as she sat herself on his lap and sighed. "She wouldn't stop talking about him" she declared softly onto his chest as they sat there, arms wrapped around each other. "I just hope it works out for them".

"Well they have been going out for longer than we've all known about, I'm quite shocked Esposito managed to keep it quiet" he whispered causing her to nod. "And they make each other happy so that's all that matters really" he declared, receiving another nod in reply. "How about you go to bed?" he suggested causing her to nod slowly. Sweeping her into his arms, he sighed as her arms wrapped around his neck, her head still remaining buried against him as he carried her towards her bedroom. Laying her on the bed, he watched as she curled herself practically into a ball, wearing his shirt from earlier. "Do you want me to do anything?" he asked.

"Hold me" she whispered causing him to slip his shoes off and climb next to her, his arms slowly wrapping around her as she lay there in silence. "What did you tell Alexis?" she asked as she thought about the teenager whose father was lying in her bed.

"I told her you were sick and needed someone to remind you to take your medication, she says get well soon and that if I get on your nerves call her and she'll sort me out for you" he mumbled causing her to nod as she remained in his arms, neither of them able to sleep. "It will get better Kate" he whispered.

"Will it?" she asked because right now, her head and heart were both disagreeing with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for your comments, I understand that Kate is extremely out of character but I wanted it to be there that what's happened has sent her completely out of her comfort zone, I will try to get her back into her original character soon. Anyway I hope you continue to enjoy and continue to review, I love knowing what you think, both about the story and how I can improve. **

Opening his eyes, he immediately noticed that the bed was empty beside him causing him to sit up quickly, searching the room for her, just as quickly realising that she wasn't in there. Climbing out of bed, he walked towards the door and stared out to see her sat on the sofa, her arms wrapped around her knees.

"Have you slept at all?" he asked causing her to look up at him and nod. "Not including when Lanie was here" he whispered causing her to change her mind and shake her head slowly. "Your exhausted Kate, you need to sleep" he announced receiving another quick shake of the head causing him to sigh. "I've got something for you" he declared, digging through his jean pockets quickly and pulling out something which he kept enclosed in his first. "Don't worry it didn't cost me anything, actually it cost mother a box of cereal when I was four" he laughed causing her to stare at him as he took her hand and placed a small ring on it. "I found it in a box of cereal when I was four and mother told me to keep it for someone special, and well it never felt right to give it to Gina or Meredith but well it does giving it to you" he laughed as she held it in her hand, staring at it in complete amazement. Only Richard Castle would think of something like that and yet it made her the happiest she'd felt in a while as she clutched the ring in her fingers.

"Thanks" she mumbled as she stared at it.

"It's a reminder of how much you mean to me Kate and seeing that you won't let me buy you diamonds, a toy ring from my childhood seemed decent enough" he declared causing her to smile as she reached up and touched the necklace around her neck, trying to remove it. Seeing her difficulty, he slowly undid it and passed it to her as she slipped his ring on next to her mother's before looking at him. Slipping it back around her neck, he sighed as he held her close, her eyes shutting slowly not going unnoticed by him. "Let's go back to bed hey" he whispered causing her to shake her head.

"Can we just stay here?" she asked causing him to laugh gently and then nod. "I really do appreciate the ring Rick, it's a sweet thought, I just wish I had something to give you".

"Kate I have you and that's all that matters" he whispered, pressing a kiss to head causing her to smile. "And also, I was starting to get worried I'd never find anyone special enough for that ring and that I'd have to give it to Alexis and she'd just laugh at me" he declared causing her to smile as she touched the rings that were around her neck. She loved them both equally. One because it was the only things she had left of the woman who was so cruelly taken away from her and the other because it belonged to the man who she'd been crazy about for a while. "You're thinking…" he whispered.

."I am" she declared. "I'm thinking about you and my mum".

"Right" he whispered as he wrapped his arm around her causing her to groan in pain as his hand brushed past an injury she hadn't told anyone about yet. "Hey, did I hurt you?" he asked causing her to nod. "I didn't think you had any that serious on your stomach, I didn't see any" he whispered causing her to bite her lip. "Kate, what's going on?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter Rick" she declared causing him to stare at her. "I promise, it doesn't matter, especially not right now" she whispered as he stared at her. Why was she hiding things from her? He'd seen her naked when he'd found her but there was so much blood and only injury he could clearly see in the blackened room was his name on her shoulder. Was there one worse that no one had told him about? He'd also seen her in her underwear when she'd smashed the mirror but her underwear had hidden some of her injuries. His mind was overflowing with ideas about what she was hiding from him. Noticing his silence, she took hold of his and sighed before bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently. "It doesn't matter" she mumbled.

"It matters to me Kate" he whispered. "I don't like the idea of you hiding something" he announced causing her to bite her lip, she knew if he continued to press her for the information he needed she would shout at him and she didn't want to lose him, not when she needed him more than ever. "I'm just worried about you".

"Rick, I'm not a child, I can look after myself" she announced before turning and kissing his cheek. "But thank you for caring and being here" she whispered as she buried herself against him, still clutching onto his hand, her eyes shutting as she tried to sleep, knowing that she'd be lucky if she could get a few moments without thinking about everything else that had happened.


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow, thank you for the amazing response to the last chapter, I loved all your reviews and greatly appreciate them, and you shall get bored of me repeating myself by the end of this! Hopefully this one will start to answer those unanswered questions on what Kate's hiding, but I'm not making any promises. This chapter is very short but I promise to write a longer one by the end of the day! **

Slipping off the sofa as he slept, she sighed as she walked towards the bathroom, entering it slowly. Flicking the light on, she locked herself in and sighed. She needed some time to think, to think about everything, to gain an idea of what was going on. She was Kate Beckett. The Kate Beckett who didn't lose control in strong situations and always managed to stay unemotionally attached. Now she was confused. She was low. She couldn't think straight and anything. Slipping her hands to the bandages around her stomach, she shut her eyes before pulling the shirt off and staring at her naked body in the mirror. Slipping her hands to the end of the bandage, so she sighed as she began to unwrap it from her stomach, each layer she removed, she felt herself gasping for breath in fear. She hadn't looked at this injury yet, she didn't want to remember its existence because of what it was. Removing the final layer, she bit her lip as a tear trickled down her cheek, her fingers running to the letters carved into her lower abdomen. It was worse than the word Castle on her shoulder; she could get over that because although it was horrid, one day she could just see it as a reminder of the man she loved, but this, this hurt her more than anything.

"Kate?" Rick asked from behind the door causing her to turn around, grabbing the bandages off the floor, starting to wrap them around. He couldn't see. No one could see. "Kate are you okay?" he asked again.

"Yeah, I had a headache so I thought I'd get something for the pain" she whispered as she finished bandaging herself up and pulled her top back on, sighing as she did. Walking towards the door, she opened it to see him standing there, worry covering his face causing her to reach up and touch his cheek, bringing herself closer to him. "I'm okay, stop worrying" she mumbled onto his lips before kissing him gently, his hand wrapping around her back as he held her close to him.

"As long as you're okay" he mumbled causing her to nod. She didn't want to mention something that might start him asking questions about her other injury. "How long have you been awake for?" he asked.

"About an hour and a half" she whispered causing him to groan. "I know what you're going to say Rick but I wasn't going to wake you up just because I couldn't sleep, that's not fair" she mumbled as he sighed, pressing a kiss against his forehead slowly. "It's not fair on you, you're doing so much for me, and you at least deserve something in return" she declared, trying to make what she'd done seem right to him. "Let's go back to bed" she mumbled, holding onto his hand gently in hers.

"What's the point? You won't sleep Kate" he declared causing her to sigh, leading him towards her bedroom slowly, sitting herself down on it slowly as she looked up at him. "You look exhausted" he whispered, his hand brushing back her hair from her face. "And yet you look so beautiful" he announced, leaning down slowly and pressing his lips against her forehead once more. Sitting himself down next to her, he sighed as she stared at him.

"Read to me?" she asked causing him to raise his eyebrows as she crawled over and grabbed Heat Wave off the table next to bed. "Read it to me" she whispered as he sighed and sat himself down on the bed, staring at her as she rested her head on his lap and sighed. Opening the book, he smiled as he relaxed and slowly began to read the words he'd written to the woman he loved who always found a strange comfort from them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Once again thank you for the amazing response, I appreciate every review given and thank you for the time you take to read and comment on this story. I just hope you continue to enjoy it as much as you have done up till now. **

Sitting outside of the bathroom, he sighed as he continued to read the book out loud to her. He hadn't stopped reading it since she'd asked and although he was exhausted; to see Kate smile the way she did every time he turned the page to continue the story made it worth it. Hearing her groan, he looked around at the shut, getting onto his feet quickly.

"Kate are you okay?" he asked as she groaned once more. "Kate I'm coming in" he whispered as he slowly pushed the door open to see her standing in her underwear trying to redo the bandage normally around her stomach. "Why didn't you just ask for help? I know you want to be able to do things yourself but it's not a weakness to let me in Kate when you need me" he asked causing her to look up at him, making him notice the fact one of her hands were now placed over her lower abdomen. "Kate" he whispered once more causing her to bite her lip. "I'll stand behind okay, I'll do it from behind you okay" he announced as she nodded, watching as he walked behind her and slipped the roll of bandage out of her hand. Beginning to bandage her abdomen, he sighed as she stood there moving her hand away slowly from what she'd been hiding. "It's okay" he mumbled into her ear.

"I don't want you to see it, not yet" she mumbled causing him to nod as he finished bandaging her and sighed, his lips pressing against her shoulder, close to the Castle injury. "I love you" she whispered as he smiled.

"I love you too" he declared as his arms wrapped around her. "Now I'll leave you to get dressed" he announced as he slowly slipped away from her and left the room, sighing. What was so bad that she couldn't show him? He'd seen everything else that the man had done to her, why was this one so bad that she had to hide it from him? Watching as the door opened, he smiled as he saw her wearing something that his shirt for the first time, dressed in a long sleeved white top and jeans, he smiled before kissing her forehead. "You look beautiful" he whispered.

"Rick" she mumbled.

"You are truly the most beautiful woman on this planet, and I've met a lot of women" he declared as she stared at him before shutting her eyes. "Kate something's wrong" he whispered as she sighed and opened his eyes to look at him. "And I know it's to do with your stomach, so please, tell me what it is because I'm imagining all sorts and it's killing me" he declared causing a tear to run down her cheek. "Kate whatever it is, whatever he did, it will never stop me loving you".

"I know" she whispered before sighing. "I know you'll never stop loving me it's just, I know it'll kill you Rick and you won't admit it to me" she announced as she held onto his hand gently. "Rick I'm hiding it because I love you and can't see you hurt" she whispered, moving her lips against his slowly for the first time since her attack.

"It's hurting me not knowing Kate, it's killing me not knowing what's hurting you" he declared as she sighed and hugged him, tears running down her cheek as she slowly moved away and touched the bottom of her shirt, biting her lip as she did. She had to, she had to show him, show him so he would understand what she was saving him from. Slipping the shirt off, she stood there, her breathing deepening as she looked at him before she removed her jeans, tears in her eyes. "I love you" he whispered causing her to nod gently, her hand reaching to the end of the bandage. "Do you want my help?" he asked as she shook her head. She had to do it alone, she needed to keep control of her life, however little she had. Slipping it off, she immediately ran her hand to where the cuts were, covering them quickly as she looked up at the ceiling. "You can do this Kate, I know you can" he whispered as he walked over and kissed her forehead gently. "Because your Kate Beckett and you bring people to justice every day, you find out the truth and your amazing" he announced as she stared at him, her hand slowly moving away causing him to kneel so he could clearly see the extent of the words carved into her lower abdomen, his eyes shutting as he took them in.

**You're not going to like me for leaving it there but you'll find out soon, I just wanted to keep you hanging one chapter more!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I know I'm a cruel tease but it's the first thing in this update, other than this of course, I just hope it was worth the wait! Thank you once again for your reviews and please continue to enjoy and comment each one makes me want to write more! **

Lying on top of a blanket on the floor, he sighed as she lay asleep in his arms, dressed only in her underwear and an open shirt, his fingers lingering over the words carved so brutally into her lower abdomen, he was amazed there wasn't any internal damage. _Castle's Cop Whore!_ His fingers continued to run over the top of each letter gently, his goal not to wake her but to familiarize himself with the injury, to get himself over it so he could be strong for her because she was the one who needed the shoulder to cry on. She'd sobbed in his arms when she'd showed him and had quickly fallen asleep when all her tears had dried up and there were no more left. He couldn't help but blame himself for everything. He'd caused her pain. Yes, he hadn't been the one to cut into her but his name was involved in both of her extreme injuries, the red marks on her shoulder and abdomen indicating how painful it was however much Kate tried to say it wasn't. He wanted to go into prison and kill him for hurting his Kate. For scarring her. For calling her a whore!

"I don't blame you for thinking I'm disgusting" she mumbled causing him to look up at her, finding himself drowning in her watery green eyes. "I have to agree with you there".

"You are not disgusting Kate" he declared as she stared at him, the tears in her eyes getting worse. "You are the most beautiful woman ever, I don't know how many times I have to tell you before you realise it but I will tell you every minute of every day if I have to" he announced before kissing her. "I love you Kate, I love your kindness and compassion for people, your strength and control, I love how beautiful you are inside and out, I just love YOU Kate" he declared causing her to smile at him. "I just wish you could see how much".

"I just can't see how you can love someone like me now, someone who looks like this" she whispered causing him to look down at her practically naked figure except for the black material of her underwear. "One day when we actually..." she began before stopping.

"Have sex?" he asked causing her to nod as she shut her eyes.

"You're not going to want to touch me or look at me because you won't see the me you fell in love with, you'll just see a victim who's scarred and ruined" she mumbled causing him to sigh as he sat up and pulled her onto his lap.

"Kate Beckett when we have sex you don't have to worry about me not wanting to touch or look at you, I love everything about you scars and all and personally they just add to the attraction, he wanted me to hate them but they just remind me of how brave you are and your courage is one of the things I love about you" he whispered before kissing her. "And anyway if I was going to have anyone as my whore it would always be you" he declared causing her to smile as he smiled at her, pressing a kiss on the end of her nose. "But you're not a whore so don't even think about it".

"Rick" she whispered as he hugged her, her head resting against his shoulder slowly as he sighed. "I love you" she mumbled before his phone started to ring, a small groan leaving his lips as he grabbed it and sighed.

"Castle" he moaned before hearing the sound of Lanie shouting at Esposito.

"Just shut it for a minute, hey Castle how's our girl?" Lanie asked causing Rick to stare at Kate who was looking at him.

"Opening up" he whispered as Kate stood up and started to button up his shirt that was draped over her body. "I think we're getting somewhere now Lanie" he declared as Lanie sighed.

"Well we, meaning me and the guys, were wondering if she'd be alright for us to come over with Chinese, we're worried" Lanie announced causing Rick to look up at her as she stood there staring at the pictures on the wall. "I mean if it's too much we don't mind waiting till she feels more like herself but we just wanted to see her".

"I'll ask" he whispered before getting off the floor and walking over to her, his arm wrapping around her waist. "Lanie and the guys want to come over with take out, okay with you?" he asked causing her to stare at him. "You choose Kate, no one's forcing you" he whispered as she sighed.

"They can come as long as they don't mention it or ask if I'm okay" she declared causing him to smile, going to talk again but stopping as she grabbed his hand. "I only want to talk about it to you Rick, I don't want anyone else knowing".

"I promise, no one will mention it" he whispered before kissing her and smiling, bringing the phone to his ear once more as he continued to hold her against him. "Lanie it's fine, just promise that none of you will mention the case or ask if she's alright otherwise your all kicked out" he declared causing Kate to shut her eyes.

"Okay we'll be there in ten" Lanie announced before hanging up.

"Are you sure you're alright with this?" he asked causing her to hold his hand.

"There my family Rick, anyway it's only dinner and I have you to protect me from anything bad" she whispered as he nodded. "I better go and change into something sensible, will you help me with my bandages?" she mumbled before walking towards the door, quickly followed by him. She wanted to see people, surely that meant something?

**Next Chapter: Dinner with Lanie, Esposito and Ryan. Will it go okay? I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'm not happy with it at all but oh well! Please review as there always wonderful to read. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Once again thank you for your reviews, I love them and hope you continue to enjoy this. Fortunately for your information I have not left it with another cliff hanger, I thought you could do with a holiday from them after my extreme love of drama!**

"Hey" Castle announced as he allowed his three friends into the apartment, watching as they all smiled and noticed Kate who was sat on the floor, her back resting against the back of the sofa with a book in her hand. "Don't ask, she just seems to do that" he declared causing them all to nod as Lanie walked over and sat next to her friend.

"Hey stranger" Lanie announced causing Kate to put the book down and smile at her. "How are you feeling?" Lanie asked quickly, desperately wanting to get the awkward questions out of the way as early into the dinner as she could. .

"Okay I guess, Rick's exhausted but I couldn't do this without him" she admitted as Lanie stared at the three men who were stood getting drinks from Kate's fridge. "He stayed up all night just to read a book to me to try and help me sleep" she mumbled causing Lanie to smile. "I just feel bad because he hasn't slept properly because of me".

"Kate, Richard Castle would stay awake forever just to make sure you were okay" Lanie announced as Kate smiled and nodded. "And it looks like you've become a big fan of his shirts" Lanie commented as Kate stared down at the black jeans she was wearing along with Rick's shirt.

"There just not so tight" she mumbled causing Lanie to nod as Kate sighed, remembering everything that she wanted to forget for just one night so she could enjoy her night with her friends.

"Ladies, dinner is served" Rick announced as he pointed towards the table causing both women to nod and climb off the floor and walk towards him.

XOXOXOX

Sitting there as everyone around her continued to eat the Chinese that her three friends brought with them, she stared down at her empty plate, not going unnoticed by Rick. Slipping his hand into hers under the table, she looked up noticing his eyes on her but also the eyes of everyone else also staring at her. Standing, she slowly walked off towards her bedroom causing them all to watch her as she slammed the door, the sound of something smashing causing Rick to stand and excuse himself before running off. Entering the room, he stared at the smashed light on the floor and the woman standing over it.

"What's wrong?" he asked causing her to look at him before he sat down on the bed and patted it. "Talk to me Kate, don't go hiding things again" he whispered, watching as she sat herself down beside him and rested her head on his lap, his fingers running through her hair as she shut her eyes.

"They were staring at me, they wouldn't stop staring" she whispered as he sighed. "It's like they all just want to look at the disgusting thing I am now Rick" she declared causing him to close his eyes. "I just wanted them to stop staring at me".

"Kate you weren't eating anything, that's why they were looking" he whispered as she lay there in silence. "They're worried about you, you haven't touched anything, they weren't looking at you like you were disgusting, they were looking at you because there your friends and there worrying about you" he declared causing her to sob.

"There my friends Rick and I can't even sit at a table with them without wanting to scream at them" she whispered, her hands grabbing hold of the blankets as her fingers curled into a fist around the red sheets. "Why can't I just sit with my friends like normal?" she asked as he leant down and pressed a kiss against her cheek.

"Because it's hard Kate, you're questioning everything around you right now" he whispered as she nodded. "It'll get easier" he promised, his hand touching her fist causing her to relax them slowly. "Come and eat something" he mumbled.

"I should clean the lamp up" she whispered as she got up and stared at the smashed pieces of glass that were scattered across her floor.

"You don't need to do that now, we'll do it later" he mumbled as she nodded and took hold of his hand as he led her off the bed and towards the door. "I know you can do this Kate" he whispered before pressing a kiss against her forehead and hugging her as she nodded. She could do it. She knew she could. Leaving the room, she noticed how the room was silent and how her three friends and colleagues were sat at the table staring at her.

"Are you okay Kate?" Lanie asked, breaking the silence as she nodded and sat herself down in her earlier seat. "If you want us to go we will" she mumbled before Kate shook her head.

"No it's fine, I just had the urge to smash things" Kate whispered as Rick sat himself down next to her and took hold of her hand under the table, their joined hands resting on his thigh as she stared at the food in front of her. "And now I have the urge to eat something" she added causing everyone to smile in relief as she leant forward and stared at the selection. "Esposito did you buy everything on the menu?" she asked, desperately trying to lift the mood she'd set earlier.

"Almost, but Lanie stopped me when she realised this would be coming out of our holiday fund" he declared causing Rick to raise his eyebrows.

"Holiday fund hey?" Rick asked as Lanie looked down at her plate, desperately wanting the conversation to end. "Must be getting serious now if you're saving up for a holiday together".

"Well with our pay cheques we thought we'd start early seeing that it's going to take us at least two years to save up for something good" Esposito laughed as Kate smiled, enjoying the discussion of her friends relationship. "Also it means we have spare money if one of us decides we want to run away from the other because honestly, this woman is scary first thing in the morning" he declared, gaining a laugh from everyone but Lanie who hit him gently on the arm.

"I'm going to smack you one day" she announced causing Kate to shake her head as she watched them.

"Oh you know I love it when you say that" he laughed causing everyone to smile as they began to eat once again, Rick's hand still clasping Kate's under the table.

XOXOXOXO

"Tell her we say see you soon" Lanie whispered as she put her coat while staring at Castle and the sleeping Kate who was lying across him with her head in his lap.

"Of course" he mumbled as Lanie nodded and turned to Esposito who waved and slowly snuck out of the apartment with Lanie and Ryan, desperately trying to stay quiet as Kate slept. After they'd left Rick smiled as he took in how deep Kate was sleeping which he hadn't seen in a long time. She wasn't shaking and her breathing hadn't become quick and terrifying. She was just sleeping peacefully and that caused him to relax and shut his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry that it's a really short chapter, I just couldn't think of where to go from where I left it off so I wrote a small chapter to help with later ones. I hope you continue to enjoy and review as I appreciate the time you take to review and add this to your favourite story lists. **

"Morning sleeping beauty" he mumbled as she walked out of her bedroom and stared at him while he stood in her kitchen cooking, her eyes opening wider as she began to question where he'd magically got food from within her apartment, the following question popping into her head was whether any food in her apartment would still actually be safe to eat? "You going to sit down and have breakfast?" he asked.

"Depends on where you got the food from" she whispered, walking over to the table and sitting herself beside it as he brought the plate over and placed it in front of her. "Castle I can't eat all of that" she moaned as he sat himself down opposite her, passing her the utensils she would need for the meal.

"That's why we're sharing although Kate we really do need to take you shopping at some point for food" he declared causing her to roll her eyes and quickly take a bite of the meal he'd prepared for her, a small smile dancing across her face as she took in what he'd made. "Sleep well?" he whispered, watching her nod as the smile got larger.

"The best night's sleep I've had in a long time" she declared as he smiled at her. "I might fall asleep on your lap more often Castle, I think you reading to me ended up exhausting me" she whispered causing him to laugh before she smiled and leant over, pressing a kiss against his forehead.

"Or the fact you smashed your bedroom light into millions of tiny pieces" he joked causing her to roll her eyes as she seated herself back down and continued to eat the pancakes he'd made. "What do you fancy doing today then?" he asked causing her to shrug as she stared at him, noticing the clear exhaustion on his face indicating that although she'd slept he most defiantly hadn't. Climbing out of her seat, she slowly walked around the table and sat herself on his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck.

"You haven't slept" she whispered causing him to groan. Not knowing how to answer her. "I'm going to spend today in bed with my sleeping boyfriend" she announced as he nodded, standing quickly while holding her in his arms. Entering her bedroom, he sighed as he placed her on the bed, watching as she got onto her knees and began to unbutton the shirt he was wearing, throwing it onto the floor quickly before lying herself down on her side of the bed and patting the side that she was calling his. Sliding in next to her, he sighed as she moved closer, his arms wrapping around her. "You need to sleep Rick".

"If I'm sleeping so are you" he declared causing her to nod into his chest, the warmth of his body causing her to smile as her eyes shut once more, heightening her other senses as she smelt the remainder of his cologne from the day before and the sweetness of the cherry scented body lotions she used in comparison, the feeling of his chest moving up and down with every breath bringing a smile to her face as she thought about what it was like to be close to someone again. To have someone make her feel safe rather than a cold metal object she'd become so dependant one. "Kate?" he whispered causing her to groan.

"Yes Rick" she mumbled, desperately wishing he'd allow himself to sleep rather than worry about her. He was starting to look ill from worrying too much and it scared her to think that the man she loved was becoming sick because he wasn't getting the needed amount of rest.

"What have you really wanted to do but never have had the time for?" he asked causing her to look up at his exhausted face, her fingers running along his cheek.

"I don't know, I don't really think about all the things I've missed out on because of what I do" she whispered causing him to sigh, his grip around her loosening as he began to let sleep into his system. "I've always wanted to spend the whole day in bed which I'm doing right now" she whispered before pressing a kiss again his chest. "I've always wanted to go skinny dipping but don't get any ideas Rick" she mumbled causing him to laugh. "I've always wanted to have sex in a library and don't ask why it just comes into my head a lot" she declared as he laughed even more. "Rick I don't have anything sensible that I wanted to do, I like my life" she whispered.

"Well that's good" he mumbled before kissing her forehead and sighing. "Skinny dipping and sex in a library Beckett, you seem to come out with more surprises everyday" he whispered as she laughed gently, her eyes also shutting.

"I've always wanted to get married and have a family" she whispered onto his chest slowly as he listened carefully. "But I hold little hope for that now, at least the latter part" she mumbled, not knowing how much her confession had touched both of them.


	10. Chapter 10

"Dad" Kate announced as she stood at the door dressed in Rick's shirt in complete shock. "What are you doing here?" she whispered, standing behind the door quickly desperately wishing for her dad not to see her dressed only in another man's shirt after everything had happened. Her father was protective; he always had been since she was a little girl and seeing her dressed in a man's shirt and nothing else would immediately make him think that Rick had taken advantage of her situation.

"I came to see my daughter, the last time I checked that was still allowed" he declared as he entered the apartment, immediately noticing her lack of clothes just as Rick walked out of her bedroom dressed only in his boxers, her eyes shutting as she thought about everything that must be running through her father's mind. Hearing a hit, she opened her eyes to see Rick holding his hands against his cheek while her father stood there. "What did you think Richard? She's been attacked so I'll use her to have sex" he announced as she walked over and gently pressed her hand against her father's shoulder.

"Daddy, I didn't have sex with Rick, he's been looking after me and we fell asleep together that's all, he's been the best friend and boyfriend but we haven't had sex dad I promise" she declared before throwing her arms around his neck. "Apologize" she mumbled into her father's ear before moving away as Jim Beckett stared at the man in front of him.

"I'm sorry Rick" Jim mumbled before holding his hand out, shaking it gently Rick smiled as Kate walked over and touched the cheek where her father had hit him.

"Are you okay?" she whispered before kissing his cheek. "I'll go and get you a bag of frozen peas" she declared as she walked over to the freezer and pulled out the bag, slowly pressing it against his cheek as he groaned. "Stop being a baby" she laughed as he stared at her before kissing her forehead and moving back into the bedroom still clutching onto the peas. As the door shut, she sighed as she turned to face her father who looked at her, his face covered in guilt. "I'm not forgiving you for that" she declared before walking into her kitchen and taking out a beer which she quickly passed to him.

"I'm sorry, I was worried about you Kate" he declared as she smiled, knowing however angry she could be with him that his protective streak was one of the things she loved most about him. "You in his shirt, him in his boxers, of course I'm going to think he's had sex with you" he whispered causing her to roll her eyes and kiss his cheek. "I was going to take the two of you to lunch but it seems like the two of you would prefer to be alone".

"No we'd love to go to lunch" Kate declared before hugging her dad and smiling. "I'm going to get dressed" she whispered before disappearing into her bedroom, smiling at the man who was buttoning his shirt up. "We're going for lunch with my dad" she mumbled before kissing him. "Is that okay?" she asked.

"Kate I would love to go out with you and your dad but are you okay with it? It's not too much too soon is it? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with this" he whispered causing her to nod as she smiled.

"I want to try, I won't know whether I'm ready unless I try" she mumbled before kissing him gently, her hand running over the red mark on his cheek. "Anyway I'll have you and my dad there to protect me so I can't see how I'll feel like anyone will hurt me" she whispered as he smiled.

"I'll leave you to get dressed, don't want your dad thinking I'm having sex with you again, I don't think my handsome face can cope with another hit from that man" he laughed as she rolled her eyes and watched him leave the room fully dressed.

XOXOXO

"You and Rick are sweet" he whispered once Rick had disappeared off to get something he'd left in his car. "I've never seen you like that with someone Katie and I've only seen you with one guy before and he's the only one you were serious about" he declared causing her to smile down at the glass of water in front of her.

"I'm serious about Rick dad" she mumbled. "I haven't met anyone like him before and he's the only guy who I believe would do what he's done for me, all the men who I've been with would never have stayed up all night just to read me a book to make me feel better or put up with me when I'm smashing mirrors and lights" she declared before smiling at him as Rick slowly walked back in, sitting himself beside her. "Did you find what you were looking for?" she asked causing him to nod as he passed her a single red rose. "You didn't have this earlier" she whispered.

"No, I saw a man selling them outside when we arrived and I just had to get one for you" he whispered as she held onto it with a childish smile on her face as she closed her eyes and smelt the sweetness that radiated from the rose.

"It's beautiful thank you" she mumbled before kissing his cheek.

"Not as beautiful as you though" he declared, watching as she stared at the rose, her fingers running across the soft petals as she continued to smile down it, Rick enjoying seeing her so happy at a simple act. "I've missed that smile" he whispered causing her to look at him, her eyebrows rising immediately questioning him. "You used to smile like that when I give you a coffee in the morning" he declared as she stared at him before leaning over and pressing her lips against his.

"Thank you for being so amazing" she mumbled as her father smiled, watching his daughter and partner smile and laugh over a flower, reminding him of a younger Johanna and himself. Staring at his phone, Jim sighed as he looked at the reminder on it. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I've got go I've got a medial appointment" he whispered as he slipped away from the table, placing some money on the table. "I'll see you soon Katie, it was nice seeing you again Rick" he announced before leaving the restaurant.

"How do you fancy paying and going for a walk?" he asked causing her to nod as he waved at the waitress who slowly walked over.


	11. Chapter 11

**Only a small chapter but I wanted to get something up because of my lack of updating after the past couple of days. Hopefully the Royal Wedding tomorrow and the millions of people crowded around me shall give me inspiration. Thank you for your wonderful reviews, I appreciate every single one. **

Walking up the stairs to her apartment, she smiled as her arm remained wrapped around his while in her hand she clutched onto the rose he'd bought her. Stopping outside her apartment, she stared at him as he looked at her, his arm slowly wrapping around her waist causing her to smile as he brought his lips against hers, a small smile appearing on her face as she wrapped an arm around his neck, her lips not moving off his.

"You're perfect Kate" he whispered as they finally moved away from each other, a smile appearing on her face as she watched him. "You're so beautiful and clever and amazing" he whispered as she giggled lightly, slowly unlocking the door to let them into the apartment. "I loved seeing you with your dad, it was nice to see you around people you were in love with" he mumbled as she stared at him, biting her lip slowly.

"What's made you say this Rick?" she asked as he watched her, his hand creeping to her cheek as she stared at him, moving closer as she kissed him again, a smile appearing on their faces while they looked at each other, both their hands touching each other's cheeks.

"Because today made me realise how much I want you to be part of my life and I want to be part of yours" he declared as she began to nod slowly. "Why are you nodding?" he whispered as she stared at him, a small smile appearing on her face.

"Because I agree with you, I want to be a part of your life and I want you to be a part of all of mine, I want you to be my best friend, my boyfriend, the man who wakes up with me every morning and goes to bed with me every night" she whispered causing him to smile, his arms wrapping around her as they stood in her living room smiling at each other. "Because of you I feel better, with you I feel like myself again, you make me Kate again".

"Hmm Kate, I like Kate, I love Kate, I love her a lot" he whispered as she smiled at him before laughing, her cheeks tainting red as he lifted her into his arms, a small laugh escaping from her lips.

"Rick I need to put my rose in water" she whispered as he sighed, carrying her into the kitchen slowly before sitting her on the side. "Vases are in that cupboard" she announced as she watched him, a smile appearing across her face as she took in him going through her cupboards, searching for her vase. Pulling out of the cupboard, he smiled as he watched the woman who was sat staring at him, a smile painted across her face. "Here" she whispered as she placed the rose into the vase and smiled at it. "Thank you" she mumbled.

"No, thank you" he whispered before kissing her, her hand running through his hair as she smiled. "Let's go to bed its late" he announced causing her to smile as she thought about how they'd only gone out for lunch and ended up spending all afternoon together walking around New York because getting take out for dinner. Taking hold of her hips, he helped her off the kitchen side and smiled at her, enjoying the feeling of her hands once again wrapped around his neck.

"Yeah let's go to bed" she mumbled as he watched her, enjoying the feel of her hand clasping around his as she led him towards her bedroom, a smile on her face.


	12. Chapter 12

Staring at him the following morning, she smiled as she ran her fingers down his bare chest, his arm wrapping tighter around her hips, clutching onto the shirt of his that she was wearing, his eyes opening slowly.

"Morning beautiful" he whispered causing her to lean up and kiss him gently, a small smile appearing on both their faces as they separated from each other. "Know the time by any chance?" he asked causing her to shake her head, his hand reaching towards the phone resting on the table. Staring at the time he laughed to himself before pulling her close to him once more, her head resting against his chest. "It's eleven".

"Your joking, we've slept in till then" she commented causing him to nod. "It must be you, you make everything just brilliant" she declared before kissing him, his phone suddenly ringing causing her to groan. "Ignore it, I'm enjoying having you to myself" she mumbled as he placed the phone back down and held her close, her lips pressing against his chest gently as he smiled, his fingers running up and down her clothed back. As his phone began to ring once again the two of them groaned as he grabbed it, hitting the answer button as fast as he could.

"Castle" he moaned the annoyance in his voice clear to anyone who was listening, a small creeping onto Kate's face as she thought about how she made Rick like this. "Fine I'll be there in five, thanks" he announced before hanging up and chucking his phone onto the floor, grabbing the pillow quickly and pressing it against his face, kicking his legs like a child causing her to laugh as she sat up and pulled the pillow away.

"What's the matter?" she asked as he groaned and turned, his face burying into the mattress as she began to massage his back. "Tell me, I might be able to help" she mumbled before kissing his shoulder blades gently.

"I have to go, Gina wants to see me about my lack of book and she's angry so I think we're going to end up fighting" he moaned, turning around slowly to face her. "So you might not want to have me over tonight" he whispered.

"What you mean is you don't want to be around me after seeing Gina" she whispered, slipping out of the bed slowly. "Or there might be the chance of me seeing you again tonight because you might be with her" she blurted out as she stared out of the window. Staring at her from the bed, he sighed before standing up and walking over to her, his arms wrapping around her waist as he kissed her neck.

"Gina is nothing to me now Kate, you know that" he mumbled as she shook in his arms. "Tell me what's going through that head of yours" he whispered onto her neck before pressing another kiss against it.

"You're never going to stay Rick, you're always going to find someone beautiful and who fits all the boxes" she mumbled, shocking him. "You were always going to choose her over me".

"Kate what on earth are you talking about?" he asked.

"He said you'd always choose Gina, if it was a choice between me and her it would always be her, he kept telling me" she shook as she slipped out of his arms and walked towards the bathroom. Slipping out a few minutes in her dressing gown, she passed him his shirt and wrapped her arms around herself. "Here" she mumbled.

"Kate I'd choose you any day" he whispered. "You know that, I know you know that I would always choose you over Gina or Meredith or any other woman on this planet" he declared as she stared at the ground, not wanting to look at him. "Whatever he said to you Kate was a lie and you know that" he insisted, holding her shoulders gently, not wanting to hurt her. "I love you Kate, I want to spend every morning waking up to you and falling asleep next to you in the evening. I want to take you dancing and to premiers and big events, I want to have you on my arm to show off and have you to cuddle up against on Sunday evenings' in front of the telly".

"Rick" she whispered, tears in her eyes as he continued to hold her.

"I want to be the one you turn to when you've had a bad day and need someone to hold you while you cry, I want to be there on the anniversary of your mums death and I want to hold your hand at her grave like you need but won't admit" he mumbled as he pulled his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him. "I don't want a dress up doll like they were Kate, I want a woman who is interesting and can kick me into shape, who can hold a decent conversation and make me laugh until I cry" he whispered as he slowly touched her cheek.

"What about other things?" she asked. "You don't want a woman who isn't sexy or gorgeous Rick, you want a woman who makes you hot and that you want to have sex with".

"Kate I don't want to have sex with you that's the only thing you've gotten right this morning" he whispered as she stared at him, her heart feeling like it had been ripped into pieces. No, she hadn't wanted him to have sex with her yet, she wasn't ready for that but she'd wanted it one day. She'd wanted him to touch her and love her the way someone only could when they were in love. "I want to make love to you because that's what you mean to me, you're not worthy of just sex. People can have sex and leave the next morning like nothing's changed, with you I want it to be full of love and promises and I know it makes me sound sad but it's the writer in me" he whispered as she looked at him with tears in her eyes. "And as for everything else that I thought we'd discussed earlier about how beautiful you are, I stick by what I said and that's that you're the most beautiful woman on this planet and I've been physically attracted to you since day one Kate".

"Am I being stupid?" she asked causing him to nod, a small smile appearing on his face as she touched his cheek.

"Very but I'll let you off this once" he whispered as she sighed, her head resting slowly against his chest. "I thought we were getting over this Kate, I really thought" he mumbled.

"So did I" she muttered. "But old wounds take a while to heal, mom used to say that" she whispered causing him to nod. "And I just keep remembering more and more".

"Well I don't want to hear you doubt how much I love you again or how beautiful you are Kate or how sexy appealing you are either" he whispered causing her to bite her lip as she nodded slowly. "Now I really need to go and see Gina, you can come with me if you like".

"No thanks" she whispered causing him to nod. "Promise you'll come over when you're finished, I'll miss you".

"I'll text the moment I get out of that woman's evil clutches" he laughed before kissing her head.


	13. Chapter 13

Groaning, she opened her eyes that morning to see darkness outside the window and a large box on the end of her bed. Crawling over, she stared at the scribbled note on top of it, a small smile creeping onto her face as she took the lid off it and stared at the contents, a small gasp leaving her lip as she lifted the long midnight blue dress out of the box, holding it in her arms. Standing up, she slowly walked towards the mirror and held the dress up against her, smiling as she realised that it was her size. Striping out of his shirt, she stared at herself in the mirror, at her scarred and battered body before sighing. He thought she was beautiful. He loved her. He loved her body and everything about her, the scars and everything that covered her skin. Stepping into the dress, she continued to stare at herself in the mirror as she did it up, smiling at how the one shoulder of the dress covered her Castle scar completely. It was like the dress had been completely designed just with her in mind; it flattered every curve of her body and covered every mark she wanted to hide. Running her hands through her hair, she smiled before creeping over to the door, opening it slightly to see her whole living room covered in candles. Opening it further she stared as she saw him in the kitchen, dressed in a suit, a matching midnight blue tie on as he looked up and watched her for a moment.

"Wow" he whispered as he watched her walk towards him, the dress flowing simply down her body showing her natural elegance and grace. Standing in front of him, she smiled as he touched her cheek, a smile crawling onto his face. "You are stunning Kate, you really are stunning" he announced as she stepped up and pressed her lips against his, her arms wrapping around his neck while his wrapped tightly around her hips.

"Why did you do all this?" she asked as they moved away, her eyes scanning the candle lit room as she listened to the classical music playing and the smell of food and spices filling the air from the kitchen.

"Because I wanted to prove to you how much you mean to me, how much I love you" he explained before kissing her gently. "So we've got pasta and then we're going to dance the night away" he laughed as he led her towards the laid table, pulling her chair out quickly as she watched him, a smile painted perfectly across her face.

"How was Gina?" she asked as he walked back to the kitchen to get their food. "She wasn't too bad was she?" she whispered as he shook his head, bringing the plates of pasta back to the table, setting one in front of her. Sitting himself down, he sighed as she watched him from the opposite end of the table, smiling at him.

"She wants to hear some news about the book and as per usual I was playing on my phone so I texted Alexis to call me and she did and I pretended there was an emergency" he laughed as Kate smiled at him. "So I went home, packed some more stuff and I thought about doing this fortunately for me you were fast asleep" he explained as she stared at him and smiled down at her phone, his eyes watching the small blush that began to cover her cheeks. "I missed you today".

"I missed you too" she whispered as he watched her. "I never thought I'd miss someone as much as I missed you today" she explained before she continued to eat the pasta he'd made her. Finishing the meal, she smiled before walking over to him as he let her sit herself on his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck as she kissed his cheek.. "Thank you for dinner, it was lovely".

"You deserved it Kate, you deserve all the wonderful things that other people have" he whispered before kissing her forehead, her eyes shutting at the feel of his lips against her skin. "Now Miss Beckett, dance with me" he smiled as she opened her eyes and nodded, climbing off his lap slowly. Standing there, she smiled as he stood up, his arms wrapping around her as she did the same around his neck, their bodies moving along to the beat of the song. "You honestly look stunning" he whispered as she bit her lip gently, laughing as he spun her around slowly. Hearing the doorbell ring, she turned before groaning, moving away from him slowly.

"Who can that be?" she moaned before slipping towards the door, staring through the key hole to see Esposito and Lanie standing there. Turning around to look at Rick, she sighed before walking over, kissing him gently as her hands ran through his hair. "It's Esposito and Lanie" she mumbled as they moved away from each other slowly, their hands still joined. "I don't want to answer the door" she whispered. "I want to spend the evening with you" she announced as he walked towards the CD player and turned the music up before turning back around to look at her.

"Then we'll spend the evening together" he whispered as he walked back to her and spun her into his arms, a laugh leaving her lips. "No one else Kate, no one else tonight" he whispered as she rested her forehead against his and smiled. "Just you and me and a lot of dancing" he announced as they slowly began to dance again. Hearing the doorbell ring once more, she smiled before kissing him, his arms lifting her into his, holding her close. "You're perfect Kate, completely and utterly perfect" he mumbled as he continued to hold her, her head resting on his shoulder. "So perfect".


	14. Chapter 14

**Only a small chapter of Lanie and Kate gossip I thought we needed to get some more Lanie in although I never do her character well so I apologize in advance. Anyway, thank you again for all your reviews, I still love them. I'm really not sure about this chapter, but I really wanted to get her friends back in as I explained above. **

Hearing a knock at her front door, she groaned as she opened her eyes and laughed. She was lying on the sofa, still dressed in the dress the night before, cuddled up against a sleeping Rick. Sighing, she slowly crept off the sofa and to the door, opening it slowly to reveal Lanie.

"Hey" she whispered as Lanie smiled at her and nodded. "Sorry that I didn't answer last night, we were doing something" she muttered, Lanie's eyebrows quickly rising in response. Not going unnoticed. "Not that honest" she whispered.

"Then what was so important that you couldn't answer the door to your best friend?" she asked as Kate smiled before turning back to look at the man who was fast asleep on the sofa. "And where on Earth did you get that dress from? It's stunning but isn't it a bit early?" Lanie asked.

"Rick wanted to treat me last night because of something that had happened earlier so he bought me this and he made dinner and we spent the night dancing" Kate smiled, her fingers playing with a piece of hair as Lanie laughed slowly. "I'm not joking when I say we spent the night dancing, we were still doing it at around three this morning" she giggled.

"Kate you're turning into a teenager again" Lanie laughed as Kate smiled and nodded, hearing a small groan from the sofa. "So you going to let me in so we can gossip or is Rick still in there?" she asked as Kate smiled and opened the door more, allowing Lanie into the apartment to see Rick fast asleep on the sofa. "Wow you really must have stayed up late" she whispered.

"So coffee?" Kate asked, receiving a small nod from Lanie in response before she walked into the kitchen.

"How are you feeling Kate?" Lanie asked causing Kate to groan, suddenly feeling everything she'd hidden away for the night coming back to haunt her. "Sorry but it has to be asked at some point".

"I know" Kate mumbled, sitting herself on kitchen side as she stared at her friend. "I'm better, I sort of shouted at Rick yesterday because he had to visit Gina and I thought he would cheat on me" she whispered as Lanie sighed. "That's why he did all this, to prove he's going to be here for me".

"God can he give Esposito lessons?" Lanie asked. "That man wouldn't know romance if it bit him in the ass" she laughed causing Kate to smile as she heard another groan from the sofa and turned her head to see him sitting up, his hair all over the place. "Morning Rick" Lanie laughed.

"God it's far too early for visitors" he moaned before getting off the sofa and walking towards them. "Morning beautiful" he whispered to Kate before kissing her gently and turning to look at Lanie. "Morning Lanie".

"Morning Castle, I was just hearing about your romantic side" Lanie laughed as Rick smiled and stared back at Rick. "It seems you gave one lady a very nice evening".

"Well I thought so too" he whispered as Kate rolled her eyes. "Why? You jealous Lanie?" he asked as the smell of coffee began to fill the air. "Now that's what I need" he laughed.

"I think we all do" Kate whispered as he walked towards her cupboards.

"So I see he's found his way around your apartment" Lanie commented as she watched him prepare coffee, humming as he did.

"Yeah" Kate mumbled before a coffee was passed to her and Rick smiled, pressing another kiss on her lips before smiling. "Go and have a shower, I can tell you want one" she mumbled as he smiled and kissed the tip of her nose.

"You really are brilliant Kate" he whispered before disappearing off with his coffee, Lanie's eyebrows raised as she stared at her friend who was still smiling.

"Now I want one of those" Lanie laughed. "Either he gives Esposito lessons or I'm stealing him off you Kate" Lanie said as Kate climbed off the side and smiled. "How could you tell he wanted a shower?"

"When his hair gets like that he always wants a shower to sort it out" Kate whispered as Lanie nodded slowly, taking a small sip of the coffee Rick had prepared for them. "I don't know what I'd do without him Lanie, he listens to everything I moan about, he holds me when I cry, he makes me feel beautiful when I'm upset over the scars" Kate mumbled. "He cleans up after I break things when I'm angry, he's just the best thing to happen to me".

"Kate and Rick sitting in a tree" Lanie began to sing, gaining a quick punch in the arm before Kate returned back to smiling. "No you're very cute and as long as he's helping you get better" he whispered.

"We went out for lunch with my dad as well" Kate admitted. "He was really sweet then as well, he talked to him and held my hand and whispered things in my ear when he could see me getting lost in a way" she mumbled. "And he bought me a rose".

"Now that's a gentleman, I want one" Lanie whined, a laugh slipping from Kate's lips as there was a knock at the door. "Sorry that'll be Esposito, I tell him one hour and he gives me barely half of one" she moaned before getting up and walking to the door, her hands resting on her hips as Kate watched her open the door to reveal the smiling man.

"Morning Beckett" he called from the door before waving at her.

"You can come in you know, you don't have to stand in the hall" she laughed causing him to sigh before entering the apartment and walking over to the kitchen. "How's work?" Kate asked.

"Please don't get him started" Lanie mumbled as Esposito glared at her. "I love you".

"I love you too you annoying woman" he whispered before hugging her, a smile creeping onto Kate's face as she watched her two friends together. "It's like everyone knows you're not working at the moment and therefore have decided to go on a killing spree" he moaned.

"I'll try and get back as soon as I can" Kate whispered.

"No you won't" Rick announced as he walked out of the bathroom and smiled at the three people standing in the kitchen. "Morning" he whispered to Esposito who nodded in reply. "You're not going to rush getting better just to get back to work Kate".

"Can we talk about this later?" Kate asked causing him to shrug before nodding and sighing. "How's Ryan?" Kate asked.

"Exhausted" Esposito laughed, gaining a hit on his arm from Lanie. "What was that for?" he asked.

"You're supposed to be making her feel better not guilty for making you two actually do some decent work" Lanie hissed causing him to bite his lip and bow.

"Yes mistress" he laughed, Lanie's eyebrows rising as Rick laughed.

"Good one mate" Rick said through his laughs causing Kate to stare at him and roll her eyes. "Sorry" he whispered after he'd composed himself. "I'll go and do something useful" he mumbled before disappearing to go and clean up the mess from yesterday.

"Why can't you be like that?" Lanie asked, still staring at Esposito as Kate continued to laugh. "We should get going" Lanie quickly commented, pulling Kate into her arms after she'd finished talking. "Don't rush getting better" she whispered before moving away and dragging Esposito to the door, leaving Rick and Kate alone for the first time since they'd both woken up.


	15. Chapter 15

**This is actually quite a long chapter in comparison to practically all of my others. I am rubbish at writing long things; I end up writing rubbish and talking about complete nonsense, which can be quite amusing when I read back on it! Anyway, once again thank you for the reviews, the favourites and the alerts, I appreciate everyone and I can't help but smile when I see them. **

"Well that was nice…" he began before she pushed herself against him, her lips pressing forcefully against his as she wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him close to her as shock filled his whole body. He hadn't expected that and he didn't know why she'd done it, however much he'd enjoyed it. Moving away from her slightly, he watched as she continued to stare at him, her body moving closer again before she began to kiss his neck, her lips soft against his skin. "Kate not that I don't love this but what's brought it on?" he asked as she thought about everything that Lanie had said about stealing Rick away.

"Tell me that you'll never leave me Rick" she whispered onto his neck as he stared at her in complete shock. She doubted him again and it worried him when she did as it seemed every time she got one step closer to being herself again someone pushed her back five. "Tell me you'll never leave me for someone else" she mumbled, his hands quickly grabbing her shoulders and gently pushing her away so he could look at her.

"What's brought this on?" he asked as she bit her lip. "Hey, something's upset you and I want to know what so I can fix it" he whispered onto her forehead before pressing a kiss against it. "Don't block me out" he mumbled.

"Lanie was making a comment about you and I know she meant it as a joke but…" she began before he sighed and touched her cheeks, making her look up at him slowly as he smiled at her. "I'm sorry I'm just being stupid again ignore me Rick" she whispered before groaning and moving away, heading back towards the kitchen side slowly. Walking towards her, he slowly stood behind her before wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her shoulder gently.

"No one's going to take me away from you Kate I promise, I'm going to be here forever" he whispered as she nodded, shutting her eyes to stop herself from crying again. "Look why don't you go and have a shower and then we'll do something" he suggested causing her to nod slowly before heading off towards the bathroom. Hearing the door shut, he sighed before rubbing his hands across his face, trying to come some sort of reality with the situation that had just arrived. "Oh Kate" he commented as he shook his head and went back to cleaning up the apartment, needing to feel useful with something he did for her. Hearing the shower running a few seconds later, he stopped what he was doing before pulling out his phone, desperately trying to solve what was going on.

"What do you want Rick?" Lanie moaned down the phone as he sat himself on the arm of the sofa and sighed. "Is everything alright with Kate?" she asked quickly.

"Not really, something happened when you were here, you made a comment about me which has somehow got her thinking I'm going to leave her again" he commented causing Lanie to groan as he ran a hand through his hair. "Lanie she knows you meant it as a joke it's just things like that make Kate think and then she panics at the moment".

"I'm sorry, I didn't know" Lanie whispered, the guilt she was feeling obvious in her voice. "I'm so sorry Rick, is she okay?" she asked.

"She's fine now" he mumbled. "Can you just be more careful next time?" he asked.

"Of course, god I'm so sorry Rick, tell her I meant it as a joke" she whispered before sighing.

"Lanie it wasn't your fault, you couldn't have known" he whispered as he heard the shower click off. "I'm going to have to go" he mumbled before they whispered their goodbyes and he slowly hung up, watching as the bathroom door opened and Kate peeked her head around the door.

"Help?" she whispered before he nodded and walked over. Entering the bathroom, he sighed as he saw her stood in her underwear clinging onto the bandages that covered her healing scars. "I love you Rick" she mumbled as he took the objects off her and began to bandage her once more, a small smile creeping onto her face as she watched him touch her gently.

"I love you too Kate" he said simply before kissing her cheek and smiling. "I'll leave you to get dressed" he whispered quickly before heading towards the door.

"Have I done something to upset you?" she asked quickly causing him to stop as he stared at the door in front of him. "You won't look at me properly Rick" she commented as he sighed and turned around to look at her. "Rick if I've done something to upset you I'd like to know" she whispered before he shook her head and walked over, his lips pressing against hers for a moment when he finally reached her.

"It's nothing you've done to upset me Kate I promise, I was just thinking and I didn't know whether you'd be ready for it yet" he explained as she nodded, waiting for him to go on in more detail. "I was going to ask you to come out to dinner with me and my family but I could understand if you didn't want to".

"I'd love to Rick" she quickly announced, a smile covering her face. "I'd really love to" she nodded as she wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed before kissing him once more. Inside she was worrying, worrying about how she'd react to being around them again but she missed them, she missed Martha's stubbornness and overall comments about life and she missed Alexis. She missed Alexis more than she ever thought she would. She loved the teenager's positive attitude towards life and her ability to mother her father's behaviour. She missed the happiness Alexis brought into the room and the way she made her laugh. She just missed feeling like an odd part of their family.

"Are you sure? I don't want you rushing it" he whispered causing her to shake her head and smile. "So dinner tonight" he said, his voice cheery and almost back to the old Rick that she missed. Caring for her was starting to affect him and he was tired, it was clear in his face that he was exhausted and beginning to get impatient with her but he'd never show it and she was secretly glad of that. "That's great, Alexis misses you".

"I miss her too" Kate mumbled before sighing, his arms wrapping around her slowly, reminding her that she was safe and always loved.

XOXOOXO 

Entering the small restaurant later that day, she sighed as he wrapped an arm around her waist, keeping her close to him but not suffocating her, his eyes searching across the room until they found the people he was looking for. Watching as Alexis stood up and waved, he smiled before leading Kate towards the table, a smile covering her face as the teenager walked towards her. Flinging her arms around Kate's neck, Alexis sighed as she continued to hug the woman she greatly admired and had greatly missed over the past few weeks.

"Hi Alexis" Kate whispered when the teenager had finally moved away and had returned to seat beside her grandmother. "Hello Martha".

"Hello Kate dear, I hear you've been keeping my son busy" Martha commented causing Kate to turn around to look at him. They hadn't discussed what they were going to tell them about her and she knew she didn't want them to know the proper story, so the idea that Martha might have an idea quickly panicked her. Grabbing her hand under the table, he smiled as his fingers stroked her knuckles, calming her slowly. "Wasn't it the flu or something?" Martha asked.

"Yeah, I'm still not one hundred per cent but I'm around seventy now" Kate commented as the two red heads nodded slowly and smiled at her. "And Rick's been great" she whispered before leaning over and kissing his cheeks.

"So are you guys a couple now?" Alexis blurted out, startling the two adults as Martha laughed. "Sorry I was planning on waiting till later but I want to know" she admitted honestly as Rick smiled and nodded.

"Yeah we're officially a couple now" he laughed as Alexis squealed, the obvious excitement of the teen convincing Kate that her relationship with Rick couldn't be seen as bad by anyone who mattered. "I even gave her a ring".

"You did what?" Alexis asked as Kate slowly slipped out her necklace to reveal her mother's wedding ring and the plastic one Rick had given her, a laugh slipping from Martha's lips as she stared at it, recognizing the plastic cereal prize he had treasured all through his childhood and adult life.

"Wow, it must be serious if he gave you the cereal box ring" Martha commented before Rick nodded and stared down at the silent brunette who was looking down at the rings that were resting on the chain.

"It is serious, nothing is going to ruin this relationship, I'm certain of it" he whispered before leaning down and kissing her gently, a smile creeping onto Kate's face as she nodded and rested her head against his shoulder when they finally separated from each other. "Now food, I'm starving" he laughed as everyone smiled slowly.

XOXOXOXO

"Richard could I have a word please?" Martha asked as she stood up and stared at her son who quickly nodded and let go of Kate's hand and crept away, feeling like he was going to be questioned. When they finally found themselves outside of the restaurant, she sighed before turning to look at him. "Something's wrong and it isn't the flu" she stated.

"No but I can't tell you, she doesn't want anyone to know" he whispered as she nodded. "She's just not herself right now but she's getting better, I know she is" he stated, desperately trying to convince himself of the facts he was saying. "How could you tell?" he asked.

"Except for the fact you've been holding her hand the whole evening, she's barely said two sentences together and it's not hard to notice" she explained as he nodded. "Even Alexis can see it but she won't mention it" Martha nodded.

"Thanks" he whispered before they slowly walked into the restaurant again as it began to rain and he seated himself beside her. Leaning over, he sighed as he pressed his lips against her cheek. "You okay?" he whispered into her ear causing her to nod slowly as the radio started to play. Listening for a moment, he smiled before turning to see Kate sitting there, her whole body tense and her breathing laboured as she began to look around the room. "Kate?" he asked.

"I'm sorry I need some air" she blurted out before practically running out of the restaurant and into the pouring rain.


	16. Chapter 16

Leaving the building slowly, he sighed as he saw her standing against the wall, her forehead resting against the wall as she stood there in the pouring rain. Her clothes getting drenched as he walked towards her and rested his back against the wall, looking down at her before sighing slowly.

"Kate what's wrong?" he asked before she slowly walked over and rested her head against his chest, his arms wrapping around her waist. "Kate tell me what's going on so I can help" he begged while her eyes shut slowly and she relaxed against him, desperately wanting the security he gave her.

"It's just that song, it was playing when he…" she began before bursting into tears. "I couldn't remember it before but then I heard it and I remembered everything" she sobbed into his shirt as she sighed, his hand slowly running up her back gently, feeling every aspect of the soaked material. "I'm going to get a cab home, you stay with Alexis and your mom, and you haven't seen them in days" she whispered as she moved away slowly and turned to look back at the road.

"Don't you dare think you're going home tonight, just let me say goodbye to Alexis and then we'll go back to yours okay" he whispered as she nodded and sighed. "Or we could stay at mine, Alexis would love to spend more time with you" he suggested onto her forehead as he clung onto her hands gently. "But only if you want to".

"I'd like that" she whispered as they smiled. "But will Alexis be alright with it? I'm not completely with it exactly am I Rick?" she announced as he stared at her. "I don't want her to see me when I'm smashing things or breaking them because something's come back to me" she mumbled before he nodded slowly.

"How about we try for one night? If you're not comfortable with it or you just need to go home we'll go back to your apartment, but let's just try" he explained as she nodded and allowed him to lead her back into the restaurant where Martha and Alexis were pulling their jackets on and smiling.

"We've already paid so we can get going if you like" Martha announced as the couple nodded, Rick's arm creeping around Kate's waist as she stood there in complete silence.

"Yeah that would be good, Kate's going to be staying at ours tonight" he explained as Alexis beamed and smiled at the older woman who slowly smiled back at her. "But we're not staying up, we're exhausted so we're going straight to bed" he added causing the teen to nod slowly and head towards the door with her grandmother. "You'll be fine" he whispered into her ear before pressing a kiss against her cheek and leading her back towards the door, holding his arm around her to protect her from the rest of the world.

XOXOXOXOX

Hearing a small knock at the door, she turned to see it opening slowly and Alexis popping around the corner, a smile covering her face.

"Dad's on the phone to Gina so I thought I'd bring you a hot chocolate" she explained as Kate smiled at the mug in the girls hands which she quickly placed down on the table before sitting on the edge of the bed. "Are you okay Kate?" she asked as the woman nodded slowly and sighed. "I just wanted to make sure; you don't look one hundred per cent at the moment".

"I don't feel it either" she laughed gently before sighing, the door opening once more to reveal Rick, his hands resting on his hips as he stared at the two women sat on his bed. "Hey" Kate mumbled as he walked over and stared at his daughter slowly.

"Alexis bed" he whispered as she nodded and stood up, hugging Kate quickly before she pressed a kiss against Rick's cheek and slipping out of the room, leaving them alone after their silent goodbyes. "Come on you, your exhausted" he whispered before he leant over and kissed her gently, a smile creeping onto her face as they slipped away from each other. Slipping away from the bed, he began to undress into his boxers as she smiled at him, watching every newly exposed piece of skin that he revealed. "Want a shirt?" he asked as she nodded. Passing her a shirt, he smiled as she continued to stare at him, watching as he nodded and left the room, giving her the space and privacy she desperately needed. Re-entering the room, he smiled as he saw her lying in his bed, her head resting against his pillows, her body under his blankets, the thought of it just bringing a bigger smile every second.

"Stop staring at me" she whispered from the bed causing him to roll his eyes and climb into the bed next to her, his arms wrapping around her stomach gently as they both sighed in unison. "You're all I need Rick, your all I'm ever going to need now".

"And I'll always be here, no matter what happens I'm always going to be here when you wake up and fall asleep" he promised before kissing her neck gently as she smiled, enjoying the feeling of having him close again. She'd enjoyed the meal with his family, enjoyed spending time with two of the people who made her laugh the most but she'd missed having the time alone with him. Having those moments where they cuddled on the sofa in front of the telly and he played with her hair. Having those times where he read to her. She just missed being alone with him and that's why she enjoyed having him alone in bed because it meant no one else could destroy the private world they had together.

"I want to go into work tomorrow Rick" she whispered causing him to sit up and stare down at her, shock covering his face. "I want to see whether I can do it, whether I can sit at my desk and do paperwork" she explained. "I wanted to see if there's still some of the Detective Beckett left in me".

"Kate there's no point rushing it because you have all the time in the world" he begged as she shook her head and reached up to touch his cheek. "But if it's what you want at least let me go with you" he declared.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Rick, you know that" she laughed as he nodded and kissed her gently, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as they continued to kiss gently. "I love you Richard Castle, promise me you'll never change".

"As long as you do the same" he laughed and kissed her once more.


	17. Chapter 17

Watching the lift doors open, she stared out at the place she used to feel at home at and now where she felt a stranger, lost somewhere they recognized but couldn't work out. Feeling him grab her hand, she turned to see him staring at her, a smile forced onto his face as he sighed and slowly led her out of the room. The noise of people talking falling to silence as everyone stared at her causing her to bite her lip as she slowly headed towards her desk to see it hadn't been touched and the files from the case were everywhere.

"Go and get yourself a coffee, I'll sort them out" he whispered into her hair as he hugged her and watched her walk away slowly, her arms wrapping herself for a sense of needed security. Quickly, closing all the documents, he sighed before he piled them on his chair and watched her in the break room, standing beside the coffee machine, her hands running through her hair. She wasn't the same Kate Beckett that she'd been before everything had happened. She was weak and fragile and he was learning that anything could set her off, even a jokey comment from a friend. Walking back into the room, she stared at him as she clung onto the coffee in her hand and approached her desk, her hand slipping across it once the coffee had been put down.

"Thanks for doing that" she mumbled as she stared at the closed pile of folders resting on his chair, her eyes not able to look at them for longer than a few seconds. "I couldn't have done it without you" she whispered, smiling as he sat himself down on the floor beside her chair, not wanting to disturb the files he'd closed away for the moment. "You could just get another chair" she suggested.

"No thanks, this way I can be closer to you" he commented as a smile appeared on her face. "There's that beautiful smile" he smiled as she blushed slowly, a tear threatening to roll down her cheek. "Don't cry Kate, I know you don't want to do it here" he whispered as she nodded and shut her eyes quickly. "Look go and freshen up, calm yourself down and then we'll try and do some paperwork, make the load easier" he whispered as she nodded and stood up again before creeping off to sort herself out. She couldn't lose control of her emotions at the precinct that would haunt her forever and ruin her career because of one moment of desperation and lack of self-control.

XOXOXOXO

Sitting in the small cubicle, she allowed the tears to run freely down her cheeks as she heard the door open. Crossing her legs quickly to disguise her presence, she heard the sound of female giggling and sighs from the other side of the door.

"Beckett's back" one of the women announced causing her to listen carefully, recognizing the voice to belong to a younger female cop. "She looks terrible, don't you think? I don't think I've ever seen her looking so ill in the whole time we've been here".

"Doesn't surprise me, she had it coming" the other woman quickly replied as Kate bit her lip, desperately trying not to respond to the remarks being made about her. "Anyway I heard that the only reason Castle's staying with her is because she'll kill herself if he leaves apparently he's seeing someone else on the side" she laughed as Kate unlocked the door, waiting a few moments before she opened it. "I wouldn't be surprised if she gets really desperate and flings herself on him so he says" she laughed as Kate left the cubicle to stare at them.

"Oh god Beckett I'm sorry" the first woman whispered before Kate walked over and suddenly punched the other woman, a scream echoing from first who quickly walked towards the door as Kate continued to punch her, the other woman not going without a fight and fighting back also. Running in, Rick stared before quickly running over and pulling her away from the other woman, his hand running to her cheek to make her look at him, his other one grabbing onto one of her own hands to stop her from going anywhere.

"Kate look at me" he whispered firmly as the other woman crept out of the room silently, leaving them alone. "What are you playing at Kate? You can't just go and hit people" he announced as she nodded slowly, tears streaming down her cheeks. "What happened?"

"She was saying all sorts of things about us Rick and I got angry. I'm sorry, I don't know why I did it Rick I just did because I had to do something to make her stop. Please don't hate me" she begged as she clung onto his shirt with her fists and began to cry into the soft material, his hands slowly running up and down her back to soothe her.

"I don't hate you, I love you Katie I always will no matter what silly things you do" he whispered as he brushed a piece of her hair back with his fingers so he could see her face clearly. "But I want to take you home, I don't think you're ready to come back yet and hopefully you see it too" he whispered as she nodded and sighed.

"I just want to be Detective Beckett again Rick, I want her back because she was the person I was safe being, everyone listened to her and respected her, none of them respect me now. They all think I'm weak" she sighed as he wrapped an arm around her and led her out of the room to see everyone staring at her.

"What are you all looking at? I don't see anything interesting" he asked before they all turned away, none of them watching the couple quickly exit the room, his arm tightening around her as she rested her head against him, desperate to feel safe once more.

**I know the scene with the two other women is slightly unrealistic but I wanted to have something in there to show that Kate wasn't completely herself and it seemed most logical to have it there. I hope you enjoyed and review, they always make me smile. **


	18. Chapter 18

**A short chapter but I liked the ending! Thank you for the amazing reviews and I hope you continue to enjoy it. **

"Kate, next time anyone says anything about us just walk away and come to me okay?" he whispered as they sat on his bed while he tended to the few cuts on her face from her earlier fight. Bringing the damp tissue to one injury close to her eye, he smiled as she hissed gently from the pain and stared at him, hitting him lightly on the arm to move away. "Who would have thought Kate Beckett would be such a child when it came to this?" he laughed as she rolled her eyes and slowly laid herself down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, her hands slowly resting on her chest as she sighed. "I love you Kate".

"I love you too" she replied softly as he laid himself down next to her and gently kissed her cheek, enjoying having her close to him once more. "And I'm sorry, what I did today must have been embarrassing for you and it wasn't fair" she added as he shook his head and smiled at her.

"What you did today was stand up for our relationship Kate" he commented as he sat up slowly and looked down at her. "And I'm proud that I have a woman in my life who would fight for us when people talk about us badly" he explained as she opened her eyes to look at him. "And I am most defiantly not saying do it again the next time something like that happens but I'm proud that you feel strong enough about us to want to fight for it in the way that you did" he sighed as she sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes shutting slowly as she buried her head into his shoulder and relaxed. "I love you Katherine Beckett and nothing is ever going to change that I promise".

XOXOXOXOXO

"Where is she?" Lanie asked later that day as she stood at the doorway staring at the man who was stood with his arms crossed watching her. "She's the talk of the whole precinct, how could she be so stupid Rick? Montgomery has gone mad, he knows it's not her fault but he's cross" Lanie explained as he raised his eyebrows.

"How would you know that?" he asked as she rolled her eyes at him. "Look, two women were gossiping about her badly and she just had a moment where she wasn't herself, it wasn't her fault Lanie" he declared as he heard the shower stop up stairs. "Lanie please don't bring it up".

"Rick there threatening to suspend her from work, her behaviour Rick…" she began as he quickly shook his head and turned to see Kate walking down the stairs in his dressing gown, a smile covering her face as she walked over and kissed his cheek.

"Hello Lanie" she announced as he wrapped his arm around her waist, his lips pressing against her forehead before he looked at the woman standing in the corridor, his eyes begging her to not mention it as Kate stood in his arms. "What are you doing here?" she asked quickly as she turned to look at her friend, a smile covering her face.

"I was in the area and thought I'd just come and see you" she lied as Kate smiled and nodded before looking up at Rick.

"I'm going to go and get dressed" she whispered before kissing him gently and turning to look at Lanie. "It was nice to see you Lanie, I'll see you again soon" she commented before quickly disappearing off to get dressed.

"Thank you" he whispered as Lanie stared at him and shook her head. "I'll tell her okay, I'll tell her that there thinking of suspending her, just let me do it later" he announced before she sighed and wondered off, leaving him alone slowly.

"What do you mean suspending her?" a voice asked as he turned to see her standing there, her arms crossed across her chest. "Rick?".


	19. Chapter 19

**Really really small chapter but it's just to help the story move on. Some of you, well most of you, well nearly all of you won't be pleased but I promise it will get better! **

Standing in silence for a moment, he watched as any sign of happiness disappeared from her face. It seemed he didn't have to tell her because she was working it out for herself. Walking over, he sighed as her arms wrapped around his neck and she buried her head into his shoulder and even though she was silent he knew she was crying once again by the cold chill running through his shirt.

"I thinking I'm going to go and stay with my dad for a while" she mumbled, shock covering his face as he looked down at the brunette who was still buried up against him. "You need to get some work done Rick and I need some time away" she added, desperately trying to make it easier on him. It wasn't fair that his world was ending because hers was crumbling around her.

"But I want to help you Kate, I need to help you" he insisted, his voice desperately trying to sound strong but instead sounding weak. "Please don't go Kate" he begged as she moved away slowly and touched his cheek. "My life is nothing without you Kate, you're my everything".

"No you've got your books and Alexis and I need to do this, I need to get away for a while" she admitted before kissing him gently and grabbing her keys from the side, along with her coat. "I'll call you when I get there".

"How are you going to get there Kate? You have no car" he declared as she shrugged, remembering how her car had been destroyed during her attack. "At least let me drive you" he whispered, watching as she shook her head desperately.

"Lanie can drive me" she quickly replied before walking out of the door, trying not to cry. It wasn't fair that she was bringing Rick down with her while the ship of her life was sinking. Standing there in silence, Rick stared at the shut door not knowing what to do. Run after her? Stay where he was? Call her? Text her? Ideas ran through his head as he stood there just watching thinking about Kate Beckett had actually just left him for no reason and how in his heart he knew he had it coming some day.


	20. Chapter 20

**Here's the longer chapter that I did promise would follow but it does leave on a sort of cliff-hanger, I hope you enjoy it. **

"Castle? It's three am why are you calling me? Don't you have better things that you could be doing?" Lanie moaned down the phone as he clung onto it in a last hope to find out whether Kate was okay. Although she'd promised him she'd call when she arrived his phone had been silent since when she left and her mobile was now turned off, severing any chance he had of getting hold of her. "Castle? I'm tired so hurry up and tell me because right now I seriously want to murder you right now".

"Sorry, I was just wondering whether Kate got to her dad's okay. She never called me and she said she would when she arrived" he explained as Lanie sighed, the sound of walking around her apartment getting louder down the phone as he sat in bed resting against the wall, unable to sleep without her there. He'd gotten used to sleeping beside her and having an empty bed again was like half his world had been torn away from him.

"She wasn't good Rick when I left her, the first thing she did when she got in the car was turn her phone off, I'm sorry but I think she doesn't want you to get hold of her" she admitted, the guilt in her voice obvious to anyone listening. "Kate loves you Rick and she's doing this because she loves you, the whole journey there she was practically forcing herself to believe she was leaving because it would make you happy" Lanie explained before Rick shut his eyes. "She feels guilty because you've left the rest of your life to be with her".

"Lanie, can you give me her dad's number please?" he asked as he heard her groan before she hummed and sighed, giving in slowly and telling him the much needed number. "Thank you and don't worry, I won't tell you I got it from you".

"You don't need to tell her Castle, she'll know" Lanie sighed before groaning once more. "Look I'm going to bed, be easy on her Castle, I know how much you mean to her so don't ruin it" she explained before he nodded and whispered goodnight, allowing her to hang up slowly. Returning to the now silent bedroom, he sighed before dialling the number, forgetting the time and only wanting to hear her voice again.

"This is Jim Beckett, I'm not here right now so leave a message after the tone and I'll call you back" the voice of her father ran down the phone as he sighed and waited for the small beep. Hearing it, he stared up at himself in the mirror and gently drummed his fingers against his knee.

"Jim, it's Richard Castle, I was just wondering whether Kate got there safe and whether she's okay" he mumbled into the phone before sighing. "Just tell her I love her and that I'll be there for her if she needs me and that she doesn't have to worry about my life because all my life is, is her and Alexis" he admitted before shutting his eyes once more. "Anyway thanks and Kate if you hear this, I love you so much and nothing will ever change that, whatever you believe" he sighed, forcing himself to hang up before putting the phone down and relaxing in the bed.

XOXOXOXO

Hearing the man's voice on his answer machine the following morning, Jim Beckett looked up at the door his daughter was locked behind, wishing that she would come out so she could hear the sincere love that Richard Castle felt for her. Creeping towards the door, he knocked and listened to her sob that he was allowed to come in, the door opening to reveal Kate lying in bed under the blankets, her sobs echoing around the dark room.

"Why don't we go out somewhere? See some of the old places you used to love as a kid" he suggested as she groaned and pulled the blankets further up across her, a groan leaving his lips before he sat himself down beside her and watched his daughter's hidden body. "Kate, Rick called last night" he admitted, her sobs silencing quickly as a smile covered his face slowly. "He misses you Kate, can you please call him so he at least knows your alive?" he sighed before Kate's body shook from under the covers, showing her complete refusal. "Okay I won't force you, are you coming to breakfast?" he asked.

"No, I'm tired" she quickly commented before sighing. "I want to sleep dad, that's all".

"I'll bring you something later" he sighed, climbing off the bed quickly before turning to look down at the bed once more. "He really loves you Kate".

"I know he does and that's why I'm here, he shouldn't love me dad, I'm not good enough for him" she sighed, her eyes shutting slowly as she heard the door shut slowly, her teeth biting into her lip when she was finally certain she was alone. She missed him, she loved him and all she could think about was staying away from him because she honestly believed she was ruining his life.

XOXOXOXO

"Hello" Alexis whispered, grabbing her father's phone that had been ringing for over twenty minutes while he'd hidden himself in the bathroom.

"Who's this?" a man asked.

"Alexis Castle, Rick's daughter" she quickly commented before the man sighed in relief, the bathroom door opening to reveal Rick in his boxers, his face red from the heat of the bathroom. "Dad put more clothes on" she moaned, a laugh echoing from down on the phone.

"Daughter get out of my bedroom" he teased before noticing the phone in her hand. "Whose on the phone?" he asked, watching her shrug as she passed it to him and left the room. "Kate is that you?"

"Close, it's her father instead" Jim announced before Rick sighed. "I'm sorry are you doing anything right now?" he asked.

"Nothing more than worrying about your daughter, how is she? Is she okay? She's eating isn't she and she has changed her bandages hasn't she?" he blurted out causing Jim to laugh from the obvious love this man had for his daughter. He'd dreamt that Kate would meet someone who loved her for who she was the whole way through her life and it seemed like the one dream his late wife and him shared the most was coming true.

"Look Richard, Kate clearly isn't herself and well, I think you should come out here" he admitted, the sound of his voice clearly showing that Jim Beckett had realised he couldn't do anything to make his daughter better. "She won't know Rick because otherwise she'll just do something stupid but please can you come and see her?"

"I'll be there in two hours tops, I promise" he whispered before they whispered their goodbyes and hung up, leaving Rick alone to pack some stuff into a bag. Opening the door, Alexis quickly entered the room and watched her father chucking clothes into a bag, not paying attention to what he was doing. Turning to look at his daughter, he sighed before walking over and hugging her. "I'm going to Kate's dads for a while, you'll be alright won't you?" he whispered.

"Of course I will, just make sure Kate's alright" she commented before kissing her father's cheek. "Just don't do anything stupid dad" she laughed, her arms tightening her arms around him.

"Look can you do me a favour Alexis?" he asked as she nodded, listening carefully as he explained his plan to her, her eyebrows rising when he finished speaking. "Please Alexis, just do that for me" he begged, the look in his eyes causing her to nod. Even though she knew that what he was planning would end up with him in trouble, he was doing what his heart thought best and it was a sweet idea.

XOXOXOXO 

Pulling up outside the apartment building, he watched as Jim Beckett appeared from the building, the courage growing inside him as he slipped out of his car and waked over to the man.

"Thanks for coming, she's in bed at the moment but that isn't a change to the rest of today" he admitted as Rick quickly nodded and sighed. Passing him the key to his apartment, Jim sighed before excusing himself, explaining that he had to go to work and sort things out before giving him the apartment number and leaving him alone. Creeping into the apartment block slowly, he sighed as he entered the lift and arrived on the floor he was directed to, his heart beating faster with every step he took. Kate. That's all he could think about. Her beautiful hair, her kind nature, and the hold she had over his heart. Kate Beckett was in control of him now and he knew he'd never let her go again because it hurt to not be with her. Opening the door all he heard was silence as he took in the small apartment, noticing the images of a young Kate with her two beaming pictures. The pictures of Johanna never aging while ones of Kate changed from a baby in her mother's arms, to her a young girl with her proud mother and father, to a teenager forced into the photo, to the woman she was now, sitting alone in the photos, occasionally with her father in some. The presence of Johanna strong in the whole apartment. Walking towards the door Jim had told him was Kate's, he sighed as he pushed it open and stared at the teenage bedroom. Books covering the floor in piles similar to the ones in her apartment and photos of her and her mother covered the walls and surfaces. This was the room of a young woman in mourning for a mother who she had lost in the cruellest way imaginable. Seeing the bump under the duvet, he slowly sat himself down and pulled the duvet back to see her staring at him, shock covering her face as she took in the sight of him.


	21. Chapter 21

Running his fingers across her tear stained red cheeks; he sighed as she sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him to close to her like she'd wanted for so long. She didn't know why she'd left but she blamed it on the fact she was stubborn and only wanted to not ruin his life with the fact she couldn't get hers together. Bursting into tears again, she buried her head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her, running his hands slowly up and down her back, comforting her.

"It's okay, I'm here now" he whispered into her hair as he continued to hold her close to him. "I'm here Kate and I'm not going anywhere I promise" he mumbled slowly as she looked up at him. Running her hand around his neck, she slowly pressed her lips up against his, enjoying the touch of his lips against hers once more as they sat there in each other's presence forgetting about the rest of the world.

"You shouldn't be here Rick, I didn't want you here Rick because of what I'm doing to your life, I'm ruining your freedom and your life Rick, and you're not spending anytime with your daughter or doing any work" she explained onto his lips as he held her close. "It's not fair on your family Rick, for me to take you away from them for so much time".

"Kate, my family understand and they know how much you mean to me, they would think so much less of me if I wasn't here helping you through this" he declared as he clung onto her hand, bringing it to his lips slowly before pressing his lips against her knuckles. "You didn't call so I had to get your dad's number off Lanie and well he ended up calling me, I wasn't going to come originally I promise, I was just going to call you but he sounded worried I had to come" he explained, knowing that she'd want an explanation to his appearance. "I had to come because I love you and don't want to spend my life without you Katie" he declared, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck as she sighed. "It doesn't matter if you suspend you Kate" he whispered as they both lay down on the bed and his arm wrapped around her hips, holding her close to him.

"My job is all I have Rick, if I lose that I have nothing else in my life, all I'll have is an apartment I hate and a set of foreign films" she muttered, her fingers playing with the bottom of her shirt, stopping herself from looking up at him.

"You have a family now Kate, you have my family" he declared, touching her cheek before leaning down and kissing her gently. "My family adore you and you have them now and you have us, it's not just you and the job now Kate, you have such a bigger life now" he announced before kissing her slowly. "You have friends and a family, your whole life doesn't have to end because you've been suspended for a while, anyway it's not forever".

"I shouldn't have run away Rick, I was afraid of everything" she muttered slowly, her lips pressing against her cheek as they both sighed. Shutting their eyes, they lay there in complete silence, enjoying the warmth of each other's bodies as they remained together. "I'm scared of everything that's happened in my life and everything that is now happening, I lost my mum Rick and I've practically lost my job, I've been attacked and raped Rick and I'm scared of how weak I was" she announced as he sighed and clung onto her, keeping her close to him. "And I'm scared about how much I'm in love with you and how I might lose my job because of something stupid I did and I'm scared that I've become so dependent on you Rick and that one day I might lose you" she announced, a tear trickling down her cheek. Staring at her, he slowly slipped his thumb to her cheek, wiping it away from her skin as she smiled lightly at his touch.

"There's no reason to be scared, it's just another opportunity Kate" he declared as she nodded, her arms wrapping around him as she remained close to him. "Where do you see yourself ten years in the future?" he asked as they lay there.

"I don't know, maybe one day when Roy retires I'd like to take over and have that opportunity and perhaps get married and have some kids" she admitted as she continued to play with his shirt. "I want to have a family Rick, I want to have a life other than just a job" she declared. "I don't want to be a coffee addicted lonely woman forever; I want to have my own children and a husband who will love me forever" she declared, her cheeks going red as she realised how desperate she was to have people who love her around her.

"One day you'll have it Kate and you're going to be an amazing mom" he whispered before kissing her cheek. "Any kid who had you as their mother would be lucky" he declared quickly as she smiled.

"Alexis is lucky to have you as a dad Rick, you're an amazing father" she admitted, a smile appearing on his face as he listened to her. "And if I wanted anyone to be the father of my children, it would be you" she blurted out before rolling over so her head was buried into the pillow, amusement covering his face.

"You want me to be your baby's daddy Kate" he laughed as she hit him on his leg, a smile covering both their faces as they thought about it.

"Yes, my imaginary baby that doesn't exist so shut up about it Rick, this is why I don't tell you anything" she commented into the pillow before he started to tickle her gently, making sure he wasn't touching any of her lasting injuries, laughter leaving her lips as she turned to look at him, the laughter stopping as they stared at each other. Leaning down while she leant up, their lips slowly pressed together as her arm crept around his neck, bringing him down to her. "I love you".

"I love you too" he mumbled onto her lips as she smiled at him, bringing their lips together once more as her hands slipped to the buttons of his shirt, shocking him slightly. He knew she wasn't ready and he knew he wasn't ready to move it there, not when she was so fragile and her attitudes towards him kept changing. "Not yet Katie" he whispered onto her lips. "Let's make it a bit more special than here under the eyes of your mom and dad" he declared, turning to look at the pictures that covered the room. "That's just a little bit odd don't you think, having sex under your parents eyes?" he whispered, a small nod answering him as he sighed and kissed her forehead. "But soon" he promised.


	22. Chapter 22

**I know it's short and left somewhere odd but I thought I'd leave it here and then start the next one with them going away. I just couldn't think of anything else to follow it with and I thought it was a half decent place. I promise the next chapter will be a lot longer. Anyway thank you for your reviews and the time you take my pitifully short updates! **

"That was my birthday party, I had told her I didn't want one because they were stupid and she organised a surprise one for me, all my friends were there and I couldn't believe it, I cried" Kate laughed as she showed Rick the large collection of photos in the album, her body sat between his legs as he rested against the headboard, his arms wrapped around her waist as she stroked every page and every photo, remembering the mother she so desperately missed. Flipping over the page, she quickly turned it again causing him to touch her hand and turn it back, a smile creeping onto his face. "Don't say anything Rick" she quickly commented, staring down at the photo in front of them.

"Wow, Kate Beckett in a bikini, sexy" he laughed, her eyes rolling at what he said before he kissed her neck. "Honestly, how old were you there?" he asked, her cheeks burning red as she stared down at the red bikini she was wearing on the beach in the picture, a smile on her face as she lay amongst the sand, her sunglasses covered her eyes.

"Seventeen, I think I might have been older or I might have been sixteen but I'm not completely sure" she muttered, a smile covering her face as his lips continued to attack her neck gently, a giggle slowly slipping from them.

"If you looked that hot in a bikini then, I can't wait to see what you look like in one now" he declared, a smile appearing on their faces before she kissed him gently.

"I ended up with the worst sunburn ever on my shoulders on that holiday, I was in agony for weeks afterwards, it was one of the worst things I've ever done in my life" she laughed, a tear trickling down her cheek as her memories came flooding back to her from being stored away in her mind.

"Don't cry Kate, it's a happy memory" he declared onto her neck, a nod answering him as she moved the album from her lap and slowly laid down in his arms, her eyes shutting as she let him hold her close. "And you were an extremely hot teenager, I wish there had been girls as hot as you in my school" he whispered into her ear, a smile crawling onto her face slowly before they both laughed at what he'd said. Hearing the front door open, she sighed as she realised they were no longer alone and her father was back in the equation. "He's worried about you Kate" he muttered into her ear, her nodding slowly in agreement.

"I know, I just wish he wouldn't, I don't want him to worry for no reason" she announced as there was a small knock at the door. Going silent, she relaxed in Rick's arms as he sighed and looked at the door.

"Come in" Rick declared, watching the door open to reveal Jim Becektt, a smile across his face as he saw the couple lying in his daughter's bed, Kate lying practically on Rick's chest while he held her hand. "Hi Mr Beckett" Rick announced, the smile on his face causing Kate to laugh.

"Hello Richard and its Jim, Mr Beckett makes me sound old" Jim announced, Kate's eyes rolling as her father stared at her. "What's that for Katherine?" he asked his eyebrows rising as Rick looked down at the woman in his arms, unaware of what she'd just done.

"Well you are old dad" she laughed, Jim's head shaking before he laughed and left the room, happy that his daughter was returning to him. His Katherine was returning to him. Looking up at Rick, Kate smiled before kissing him, her body turning so she was looking down at him, a smile covering both their faces. "I love you" she muttered onto his lips, her eyes watching every feeling that came across his face in those few seconds. "I really am completely in love with you".

"I love you too Kate" he declared, a sigh leaving her lips as she smiled at the words she knew she'd never get tired of hearing. "Let's go away for a while, just you and me and the Hamptons, have a well needed holiday" he suggested, a smile covering her face as she looked at him and slowly nodded, her lips moving up against his slowly while his hands wrapped around her waist, keeping her close to him.

"I'd like that Rick" she whispered. "I'd really like that".


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you so much for your reviews, I really appreciate the time you take to read this and comment because every single review is important to me and I love them all. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I promise there will be a lot more Caskett holiday chapters coming up and hopefully they will be longer than my typical 1000 words. **

Smiling, she watched as he sang along to the radio, his body swaying in time to the music that was blaring through the car as they drove down the road. They'd left her father's in the early hours of the morning, leaving a small note on the side explaining where they'd gone and leaving him an emergency contact number before they'd driven back to his apartment and packed the basics, leaving before anyone could stop them to discuss it. Kate was desperate to get away, desperate to just be alone with him without the worries of work or family surrounding her. She wanted to feel safe with Rick again, far away from the real world that was haunting her. Stopping at the lights, he turned to see her staring at him, a smile painted on her face as his hand reached over and touched her knee, stroking the bare skin as she smiled lightly at the feel of the contact between them.

"Want to stop and get something to eat?" he asked quickly, a smile appearing on her face as she slowly nodded and watched him change direction, driving them down a smaller road towards a restaurant situated at the end of it. Climbing out of the car a few moments later, she smiled as he moved closer and wrapped an arm slowly around her waist, his lips pressing against hers gently before they slowly moved towards the restaurant. Slipping inside, they smiled as they found themselves a table at the back of the place, seating themselves next to each other rather than opposite each other so his arms could remain wrapped around her as they shared a menu, smiling at each other. Ordering their food off a petit blonde who smiled too much for Kate's liking, they returned to look at each other, his arms remaining firmly wrapped around her. "I'm glad we decided to do this" he announced. "I like the idea of having you all to myself, I don't get that very often" he whispered as she raised her eyebrows, a smile covering her face.

"Rick, you've had me on your own for almost two weeks" she declared, a smile covering his face as he ran his fingers through her hair, enjoying the feel of the brown locks against his skin.

"Yes but there's still my family and your dad and people from work everywhere, out here I have just you and no one else, it's a nice feeling" he laughed as she moved closer to him, her eyes shutting once she'd finally relaxed, his fingers still playing with her hair as she giggled lightly. The smell of food getting stronger as the waitress brought their food over. Eating in silence, she smiled as she felt his hand continue to clutch onto hers under the table, his thumb occasionally stroking her skin making her smile with every touch. "You're so perfect Kate" he muttered as she bit her lip, watching him as she relaxed in her seat, taking in everything about him, everything that she loved about him.

XOXOXOXXO 

"Shut your eyes" he laughed as he drove down the road, knowing they were only a few moments away from the house, a smile appearing on her face as she shut her eyes, waiting. She knew what he was doing and she was excited about it. She was excited to see the place that Richard Castle loved more than anything and the place that he'd talked about taking her too for so long. Feeling the car stop, she smiled as her head turned in his direction. "Don't open your eyes, I'm coming around" he ordered, his voice not strict but rather happy and jokey. Seconds later, she felt his hand touch hers, helping her out of the car before leading her somewhere, a laugh slipping out of her lips as they stopped and his arms moved around her waist, his lips gently pressing against her cheek as she giggled lightly. "Open your eyes" he smiled, allowing her to open them to see the house in front of her. Opening her mouth slightly in shock, she stood there in silence, taking everything in but most of all enjoying the sound of the sea that rang through her ears. Turning in his arms, she slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him gently, enjoying the feel of having him close in public without worrying about other people.

"It's beautiful" she muttered onto his lips as he nodded slowly, their foreheads resting together as they both shut their eyes and smiled, enjoying the peace. "Thank you for bringing me here, I don't think there's anywhere I'd rather be right now" she whispered, kissing him again as his arms tightened around her, still giving her space to breathe and not be in any pain. "So are you going to show me around?" she asked, her eyebrows rising as he nodded and led her towards the house, a smile covering his face as he realised he had Kate Beckett where he'd always wanted her to be. At his paradise!

XOXOOXOXO

"Do you want to share a room with me or would you like your own because there's enough available?" he asked as they crept up the stairs, her hand clutching onto his as he led her around the building. "Because I'm not going to force you into doing anything because this is about you" he announced, a smile creeping onto her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his forehead.

"I want to stay with you, I like staying with you because you keep me safe Rick" she admitted, her cheeks going red from the embarrassment of what she'd just said. Kissing her gently, he smiled as she continued to kiss him, a smile appearing on his face as he realised that Kate Beckett was getting stronger again. Standing there looking at her, he smiled as he brushed his fingers against her cheek, her eyes shutting for a moment before he led her down the corridor, enjoying the feeling that she was slowly getting better. Entering the bedroom, she smiled as she stared at the photos on the shelves, one of which shocking her slightly. Walking over, her fingers lightly brushed against the frame, taking in the photo of her and Rick at the dance their first few weeks of working together. His arms were wrapped around her and she was looking at him, dressed in the red dress he'd had delivered to her apartment that day.

"You've been special to me since day one Kate, of course you're going to be up there with my daughter" he whispered as he joined her, staring at the photo before looking at the one of him with a baby Alexis that was next to it. "You've been this amazing, strong, beautiful woman who I've desperately wanted to understand and solve the mystery of and I know I've not been the best partner around but I hope that…" he began before she pressed her finger against his lips.

"Richard Castle, you've been the best partner I could of ever had but don't think I'll tell you that again, that's my secret" she laughed before putting her lips where her finger was, enjoying the feeling of having him close but also having a newer understanding of his feelings towards her which made her love him more than just a bit more than before. "Now, what are we going to do?"


	24. Chapter 24

Staring at herself in the mirror, she quickly shook her head and grabbed the shirt that was resting on the bed, buttoning it up over her body to cover up the scars that were clearly shown by the bikini she'd brought with her. She'd spent a while deciding whether she needed to bring one and in the end had thrown it in knowing that Rick would want them to go swimming at some point during their trip, she just hadn't realised how much it was going to show off every horrifying mark that she was scared of. Hearing a small tap at the door, she turned to open it to reveal Rick standing there, worry covering his face.

"What's wrong Kate?" he asked as she bit her lip. "You've been in here for half an hour, all your supposed to be doing is getting dressed and I know it doesn't take any woman that long to get into a bikini" he laughed, her head shaking as he entered the room and stared at her. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close to him as she bit her lip, desperately trying to stop herself from bursting into tears again. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be Detective Beckett again! "Why are you wearing this?" he asked, his hands touching the shirt gently as she looked up at him, not able to look him straight in the eyes. Slipping his hand to her cheek, he gently moved her head up so she was looking at him, worry covering his face before he leant down and kissed her gently. "You're hiding from me Kate, your hiding everything" he whispered.

"I can't, I look at myself in the bikini and all I see is scars and wounds and it's not nice, no one wants to see that on the beach Rick, not even you" she admitted, a tear trickling down her cheek, his thumb quickly wiping it away. Turning her in his arms, he slowly slid his hands to the buttons on her shirt, the two of them staring at themselves in the mirror, fear covering Kate's face. Unbuttoning each button slowly, he continued to kiss her neck, his eyes watching her in the mirror seeing the continuous fear that covered her face more and more as he slipped the shirt away from her. Dropping the material on the floor, he looked up to see her eyes firmly shut closed, a sigh leaving his lips before he took her hand in his.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, watching as she nodded slowly and clung onto his hand. "Open your eyes Katie don't be scared" he whispered into her ear, her eyes opening slowly to see her reflection. To see a person who she didn't even recognize staring at her. "You're such a beautiful woman Katherine Beckett it hurts that you can't see that" he declared, his lips slowly pressing down onto her shoulder close to where his name had been carved into her skin, the scars terrifying and horrific to see. "You have the most beautiful figure" he whispered, leading their joined hands down her sides, their fingers running against her hip bones. "You have the most gorgeous eyes which I can't help but fall in love with every time I look at him" he admitted, leading their hands towards her face as she bit her lip, a smile crawling onto her face. "Oh and I can't help but say it but you have the most gorgeous breasts" he announced, leading their hands down between her breasts, a laugh leaving her lips as she felt his thumbs brushing against her skin gently. "And your laugh is stunning" he added.

"Rick" she muttered, a smile appearing on her face as he continued to kiss her neck, enjoying the warmth of her skin under his lips.

"I think your beautiful Kate because you are beautiful" he admitted, a smile covering his face as his arms continued to remain wrapped around her waist. "And these scars just remind me of how strong and amazing you are Kate, no one else needs to see them, no one else needs to know about them until you're ready but we're alone here Kate, I might hate how they put them into you and that there a constant reminder of how I couldn't protect you but I love you Kate and I find you the most attractive woman around" he declared, the smile leaving his face as he noticed the tears that continued to flow down her cheeks.

"You really still find me attractive?" she asked in shock, amazed at how Richard Castle who knew models and actresses found her attractive.

"Kate Beckett, I've seen you on your best days and I've seen you on the worst days of your life but I'll always find you the most gorgeous sexy extraordinary woman around" he explained as she clung onto his hands. "And no matter what happens, I'll always be here to remind you of that" he smiled before kissing her cheek. "Now why don't we go downstairs and out that door and sit on our private beach?" he asked. "I hear the sands warm but also the waters quite nice too and it would be lovely to share that with such a beautiful woman" he whispered into hear before she slowly nodded, smiling at the idea of being here with Rick. "And if you really want I'll let you wear that shirt but unbuttoned" he laughed.

"Thank you" she whispered before turning around and kissing him, her arms tightening around his neck and he lifted her up, a giggle leaving her lips as he held her close. "Thank you for everything" she smiled, staring down at the man who in her eyes was the hero and prince that every woman needed in their lives.

XOXOXOXO 

Standing outside, she stared out at the sea as he ran out past her laughing, a smile creeping over her face as she watched him run into the blue waters and turn to look at her, waving her over with his hands. Touching the shirt, she bit her lip before creeping towards the water, her feet touching the warm sands as she crept closer, smiling as Rick stood there, waiting. Walking out of the water, he smiled at her before touching her hip under the shirt, a smile remaining on his face.

"Trust me" he muttered before kissing her, a small nod answering him as he slid the shirt off her and threw it onto the sand before pressing a kiss as close as he could to the scars in her shoulder. A small smile appearing onto her face as she stared at him and took hold of his hand. Lifting her into his arms, he smiled before kissing her again, carrying her into the water. "Kate Beckett in a bikini, I've seen it all now" he laughed, the smile remaining on her face as he slowly allowed her to stand in the sea, the warmth of the water shocking her while his arms remained wrapped around her waist. "Don't kill me for this but you are extremely sexy when your wet Kate" he laughed, shocked as water was splashed at him, soaking his face and hair as she stood there laughing at him. "This means war" he announced before she walking towards her, a small laugh leaving her lips as she ran off. Catching her, he slowly wrapped his arms around her and lifted her in the area, a small scream leaving her lips as he carried her out of the water and placed her on the sand, a smile covering her face. Joining her, he sighed as he rolled onto his side and ran a finger down her body, her eyes shutting at the feel of his touch.

"I love you Rick and thank you for bringing me out here, I need this" she admitted, her eyes remaining shut as he slowly pressed a kiss against a injury free piece of skin.

"You can't love me as much as I love you right now" he whispered against her skin before lying down beside her and watching her, just taking in how beautiful she really was.


	25. Chapter 25

Staring down at her later that evening, he smiled as she realised she'd fallen asleep against his chest, her eyes shut tight while her head rested on her hands on his chest, his arm wrapped tightly around her, keeping her securely against him. He'd never seen anything as beautiful as Kate Beckett sleeping peacefully on the sand, her breathing in time with the sound of the waves crashing against the sand just a few metres away but leaving enough distance to not soak them with the warm water. Sitting up slowly, he heard her groan but he smiled as she didn't wake up, smiling more when she didn't wake up as he slipped her into his arms and carried her into the house, using his feet to open the doors. Slowly entering the bedroom, he smiled as he continued to hear the crashing of the waves from outside while the woman in his arms remained perfectly asleep, making lying her on the bed easy. Stepping away, he smiled as he watched Kate Beckett sleep peacefully amongst the deep red blankets, her brown hair curled from the earlier games in the sea while the red bikini remained flattering on her body.

"You really are beautiful Kate" he sighed as he grabbed his bag and began to get out his clothes, knowing how much he wanted to change out of the outfit he was wearing into something more comfortable and suitable for bed. Slipping into the en-suite to change, he smiled as he enjoyed the peace of his Hampton paradise, enjoying it even more by the fact he had the gorgeous detective that he loved in the room next door. Quickly changing, he slipped out and sat himself down on the other side of the bed, looking down at her once more to see her completely out it, allowing him to finally relax next to her, his fingers running down her arm while his eyes ignored the obvious scars. He didn't care about them, they were part of her now, and he just wanted her and whatever came with that he just saw as part of the package, a package that he wanted more than anything in the world.

"Rick" she whispered a few moments later as she turned in his arms, her eyes now wide open as she looked at him. "Can we just stay here forever?" she asked quickly as he sighed and shook his head.

"I don't think so, people would come looking for us and then we'd never be alone again" he explained as she groaned. "However we can always come back whenever you feel like it, just you and me. Our personal paradise" he announced as she nodded, sitting up slowly to look at what she was wearing, groaning as she realised she needed to go and change again. "Go on, I'll let you steal another one of my shirts" he laughed as she smiled and walked over to his bag, pulling out a deep red shirt and disappearing into the en-suite herself like he'd done a few minutes earlier, his eyes not moving off the door as he heard her groan. "Bandages" he quickly hissed to himself before he got up and knocked on the door.

"Yes you can come and help me Castle" she moaned from within the room, a smile appearing on his face as he opened the door to see her standing there in her bikini, her hands resting on her hips as the stuff she hated so much rested on the sink. "I hate this Rick, I hate not being able to do everything myself like before" she moaned, his eyes rolling as he began to dress her wound again, humming to himself as he did.

"I haven't heard you sing for ages Kate, I miss it" he commented quickly, feeling her shiver under his hands as she remembered the club and everything that had happened there. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to remind you" he whispered, pressing a kiss quickly against her cheek before sighing. "It just came into my head" he added, her smile growing as she took in his apology.

"Rick you were just being you" she sighed as she turned to look at him. "I don't want to sing again, it reminds me too much of everything. It reminds me of the club and everything that happened there on top of all the memories of my mom, I can't bring myself to just sing again, not even along to the radio" she sighed, a tear running down her cheek as he finished her bandages and looked up at her. Bringing his thumbs across her face, he removed the tears and sighed, resting his forehead against hers as she bit her lip. "I used to love it, I loved being at the club Rick because I felt wanted and talented, look how that ended up" she sighed, staring down at the bandages around her stomach.

"Let's not think about that right now, okay, let's think about better things" he sighed, touching her cheek as she nodded. "Like going to bed because unlike someone, I haven't slept all day and am beginning to get exhausted" he announced as she rolled her eyes and kissed him gently. "Now hurry up and change, I shall be in bed when you're finished, so speed woman" he declared before leaving the room, the smile growing on her face as she watched him shut the door slowly.

XOXOXOXOX

"Kate" he whispered the following morning as he shook her gently, wanting her to wake up. "Kate your phone is ringing so please wake up and answer the annoying contraption" he begged as she groaned and shook her head. Leaning across her, he smiled as the morning sun rested on her making her more beautiful than before as she continued to sleep. Picking up the phone, he groaned as he hit the button and pressed it quickly against his ear. "Kate Beckett's phone" he announced. "Richard Castle speaking because someone is being lazy" he laughed.

"Hi Rick, it's Jim, I was just checking to see whether she's alright" Jim slowly whispered as Rick sighed and relaxed in the bed, his arm wrapping around Kate quickly, bringing her close to him as she turned in her sleep and rested her head against his chest.

"She's brilliant. We went on the beach yesterday and I managed to get her into a bikini which was a miracle in itself" he smiled, realising a few moments later that it probably wasn't the best idea to tell his girlfriend's father he had got his daughter into a bikini. "I didn't put her in, she put herself in it, I didn't even watch" he announced quickly, trying to make it sound better but failing at it, Kate looking up at him now to see the worry covering his face.

"Rick why don't you just get off the topic of my daughter in a bikini? It's not something that I really want to hear about" Jim suggested as Rick quickly nodded and sighed. "So what else have you done?" he asked as Rick looked down to see Kate staring at him, a smile on her face.

"Well Kate then decided to fall asleep on the beach for the whole afternoon and most of the evening he laughed as she groaned and smiled at him. "And then we just went to bed, I think today will be probably most of the same but would you like to speak to her? She's awake now" he declared as Jim quickly whispered that he wanted to and Rick passed the phone to a now sat up Kate.

"Hey dad" she announced, the sound of her voice the happiest it had been in a long time. Smiling at her, he leant across and kissed her cheek before climbing out of the bed to have a shower. "Rick said what? Yes dad I was in a bikini and no dad Rick didn't put me in it" she answered, glaring up at the now embarrassed man. "Dad, no please don't start having that talk, I really don't want to hear it I just got up" she moaned as she buried herself under the blanket to cover her embarrassment as Rick bit his lip. "Dad we don't need protection because we're not doing anything" she squealed, Rick laughing as he watched Kate kick under the blanket, acting like a teenager which made him laugh more. "Okay I am not talking to you now dad, you're so embarrassing" she moaned before the room fell silent. Sitting up slowly, she glared at him before climbing out of the bed to wrap her arms around his neck. "Richard Castle when we have a baby you can do the sex talk when there a teenager in need of it" she declared as he smiled at her. "Have I got something on my face?" she quickly asked as she noticed him staring at her, his head shaking quickly as he touched her cheek.

"It's just you said _when_ we have a baby, I never thought you'd say that" he smiled as she bit her lip and giggled, his arms tightening around her quickly. "And when we have a baby I promise to have the sex talk with them and don't worry I'll do it the most detailed way that will put them off sex forever" he declared as she rolled her eyes. "I had that talk with Alexis once but mother stopped me going any further" he remembered, pressing a kiss against her forehead gently.

"You really are special Rick" she laughed before walking out of the window to admire the view again, Rick admiring her as she stood there staring out at the sea in front of her.


	26. Chapter 26

"Move in with me Kate" he whispered into her ear as they sat on the beach a few days later, Kate sat between his legs as his arms remained wrapped around her gently, the smile growing on her face as she bit into her bottom lip gently, listening as he began to speak again. "Well, you've been spending so much time there and I feel comfortable with you there and so does Alexis and my mother, we love having you around and well I want you to be around as much as you can be" he explained, Kate sighing as she shut her eyes for a moment, thinking about the idea of living with Richard Castle and waking up in his arms every morning and falling asleep there every night, loving him forever. "I'm not going to force you into it, I want you to be happy and if that's with you moving in with me then please do" he smiled, his lips pressing against the back of her head gently as she sighed.

"I would love to move in with you Rick but I don't want this to change, I want us to stay the same and not change" she smiled as he tightened his arms around her and pressed a kiss against her cheek, the smile growing on her face. "And I want you to talk to Alexis about it before we go any further with it, she comes first Rick" she added, Rick smiling as he realised how much the detective loved his daughter.

"And that's the reason Alexis wants you to be part of our family Kate because you care about her more than her mother ever has because in a way she comes first to you as well" he smiled, keeping her close as she relaxed and stared out at the sea, standing up quickly. "Hey where are you going detective?" he asked, watching as she unbuttoned the shirt she was wearing to reveal her red bikini, the smile on her face making him stand up as well. Kate Beckett was beginning to become herself again no matter about the scars that covered her skin. Running towards the sea, she smiled as Rick watched her in amusement, surprised at how much a couple of days away from everything changed someone.

"Are you coming to join me Richard?" she called, Rick smiling as he stood up and ran towards the sea, lifting her into his arms as she squealed, her legs wrapping around his hips quickly as she stared down at him, her hand touching his cheek as the water surrounded them. Moving closer, she slowly pressed her lips against his, his hands moving across her ass as she continued to kiss him, her hands running through his hair. "I love you" she muttered onto his lips, Rick smiling as Kate stared at him, biting into her lip gently. "Rick" she whispered as he slowly put her down and she took hold of his hand, leading him quickly out of the water as his eyes didn't move off hers. "I'm not afraid anymore" she whispered, confusion covering his face as she led him into the house and towards the stairs, Rick continuing to watch her.

"Kate" he whispered, her finger pressing against his lips as she moved closer. "Are you sure?" he asked, Kate nodding slowly as she moved her lips against his, keeping him close as her arms wrapped around his neck, the smile growing on both their faces. "I don't want to hurt you Kate".

"Rick I love you, I want you and I think in the end this is what I need" she explained, her arms remaining around his neck. "I need to get over my fear of having someone close and replace it with the most amazing memories that I know you're going to give me" she smiled, holding him close as he stared at her, running his hands slowly up and down her back, keeping her close and protecting her. "Rick, make love to me" she whispered, her eyes staring into his as he smiled, his lips pressing softly against hers.

**I know pitifully short but this is where my brain decided to leave it and well I also thought I should tell you that I can see this slowly coming to an end. Anyway please review because I'd love to hear from you and yeah, I'll leave you alone now. **


	27. Chapter 27

**So this is the final chapter and I have loved writing every single one and reading every single review you've written since I've started this. It had been one of my favourite stories to write and I have enjoyed hearing from you all. Anyway please review and well I'm sorry that the chapter is so short but it's all I could think of and in the end it's short but sweet. **

Lying next to him, she smiled as she continued to kiss up his chest, his arm wrapping around her to keep her close as she continued to kiss his skin, the smile growing on his face as he ran his hand down her bare back, the feeling of having her bare skin under his hand was like something he'd never felt before. He'd been with many women throughout his life but never had he been with someone like Kate, someone who made it worth something, who made everything mean something. Touching her cheek gently, he smiled as she moved further up and pressed a kiss against her lips, a groan leaving her as he smiled and rolled so she was underneath him, a laugh leaving her lips as she stared at him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Katherine Beckett you are amazing" he whispered onto her lips, pressing another kiss against her lips as she smiled. "I didn't hurt you or anything?" he asked, Kate quickly shaking her head as she smiled.

"It was amazing Rick" she reassured, her lips moving to his neck where she continued to kiss as he smiled. "You're amazing Rick, I don't think I've ever enjoyed sex that much" she smiled, Rick laughing as she giggled lightly. "Honestly and I'm not exactly short of experience" she added, Rick raising his eyebrows as she laughed and kissed him once more. Moving off her, he slowly lay beside her, holding her close in her arms as she smiled and pressed a kiss against his chest once more before looking up at him, her fingers drawing circles onto his chest. "Thank you Rick" she whispered.

"For what? Because honestly, I think we were both enjoying that so therefore you don't have to thank me for it" he smiled, Kate rolling her eyes as she stared at him. "What do you want to tell me?" he asked, Kate sighing as she relaxed back in the bed, Rick sitting up so he could look at her properly.

"I don't think I could have ever gotten this far without you Rick. After everything that happened I don't think I would have ever recovered as well as I have if you weren't there supporting me and well loving me" she smiled, Rick staring at her as she reached up and touched his cheek, his eyes not moving off hers as she bit her lip and sighed. "I don't think anyone else I've ever been with in my life would have stuck by me throughout this but you have and you've bandaged me up and made me feel beautiful and given me the confidence I needed" she admitted, a tear running down her cheek, Rick helping her up to wrap his arms around her.

"Kate, I love you. I would do it all over again if I needed to because I feel like it's my job to look after you because I know you don't let anyone else in when you need them" he explained, pressing a kiss against her forehead quickly as she smiled.

"Just thank you for being there even when I've tried to push you away" she smiled, Rick nodding as he ran his finger across her cheek, through her hair quickly. "I love you Rick and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to marry you and have a baby with you in the future because you're my best friend, my lover and the person I trust my heart with" she smiled, kissing him again as he nodded and held her close. "Just thank you".

"Its fine Kate" he smiled, pressing a kiss against her forehead before they both lay down on the bed, arms wrapped around each other keeping each other close. Kate finally feeling more like herself than ever before but also feeling loved and protected like she hadn't before Rick had come into her life to protect her not from the people she knew how to protect herself from but instead, protecting herself from the one person she didn't know how to completely. Herself.

**I'm not sure about this as an ending but it was either end it here reasonably well or just never end it and probably leave it unfinished and rather bad. So please review and once again, thank you. **


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